


(What Feels Like) The End Is Also The Beginning

by gmariam19 (gmariam)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Akiva - Freeform, Amnesia, Established Relationship, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Injured Finn (Star Wars), Injured Poe Dameron, Injury Recovery, Light Angst, M/M, POV Finn (Star Wars), POV Poe Dameron, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Sith, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gmariam/pseuds/gmariam19
Summary: Three months after the Battle of Exegol, Finn and Poe travel to Akiva to help with the continuing fight against the remnants of the First Order. But the aftermath of an attack in the street upends both of their lives, as they struggle to adapt to a new normal while trying to stop another deadly plot.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 116
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

_Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end – Seneca_

Finn watches and dozes and shakes himself awake over and over, determined to be alert when Poe regains consciousness. It's been three days, and it's getting harder and harder to keep going—to eat in a chair, to sleep in a chair, to lead from a chair. Yet he's not leaving the chair next to the bed until Poe wakes up. So far, Poe is still asleep, and no one has argued with him.

He's only left to use the fresher, and to speak with the family of Kaydel Connix on Dulaithia. That one holo-comm may have been the hardest thing he's done since joining the Resistance, and he'd locked himself in his room back at the hotel long enough for Rose to come looking for him. And then he went straight back to the medcenter, to his chair at Poe's side.

He looks so normal, so peaceful. That's what's so frightening: every test tells them Poe is uninjured, but he's still unconscious. The healer said there could be unseen trauma to Poe's brain, and suggested that was why Poe was still asleep. His mind needed to recover from whatever had happened to him; when he was ready, he would wake up.

Finn doesn't know why he's still so scared, why he doesn't believe the healer. He's not usually so negative and has always tried to be a voice of hope in their battles, yet this…this is different. It was so random and unexpected, something they can't fix with bacta and bandage. And it is Poe, who has never been quiet for so long.

Guilt makes the waiting worse. Finn should have been there. Poe and Kaydel had gone to get food and had been attacked on the way, and Finn knows it's possible he could be laying in a bed right next to Poe, injured and unconscious, had he gone with them; he could be dead. Yet it doesn't stop the guilt, that he hadn't gone with them, hadn't got there fast enough, hadn't saved them from the brutal attack before it was too late.

Finn sighs, rubbing his face before glancing at a nearby chrono. It's late, well past the hour when he'd normally be asleep. He moves closer to the bed, lays his head down near Poe's stomach, and thinks maybe he'll sleep for a few hours, to take the edge off. To stop worrying. Of course, if it's anything like the last few nights, it won't be very restful due to nightmares of the attack, but he can barely keep his eyes open; eventually, he'll sleep through anything, right?

The bed is soft, and he takes Poe's hand as he closes his eyes. He can't have been asleep for long when he feels a pressure against his hand, fingers squeezing his, and Poe shifting restlessly on the bed. Finn sits up to find Poe watching him with a confused look on his face.

"Hey, buddy," Poe says, his voice rough. He coughs, and Finn quickly pours him something to drink from the water jug besides the bed. Poe smiles gratefully and nods, tries again. "What's going on?"

Finn tries not to frown. He knows it's normal for someone who's been injured to be confused at first. "You were hurt, but you're all right now. What do you remember?" he asks. He's not sure Poe knows about Kaydel, and hates to be the one to tell him, but he may have to.

"Uh…" Poe tries to sit up more, and Finn helps him, propping up his pillows. "Not sure. I don't even know where we are. It's not Ajan Kloss, that's for sure."

"We're on Akiva," Finn tells him. "Medcenter in Myrra. You were injured in an attack."

"On Akiva?" Poe asks, frowning. He runs a hand through his messy hair and huffs a little. "I thought maybe I didn't make it through that lightning storm. What are we doing on Akiva?"

"What lightning storm?" Finn asks sharply, thinking Poe can't possibly be referring to—

"On Exegol," Poe replies. "My ship died. For a moment, I thought we were all done for."

"Exegol," Finn whispers. He moves closer, takes Poe's hand again. "Poe, that was three months ago! The lightning stopped and the ships came back online and we won. We did it!"

Poe is wide-eyed, staring first at Finn's face and then down at their hands, then back up at Finn. "What do you mean, we won? It's over? The war is over?"

"Well, over is a relative term," Finn says. "There's been a few smaller battles since then, including Akiva. That's why we're here."

"But you said it's been three months," Poe says, pulling his hand away. "The last thing I remember is every screen in my X-wing going dark. Are you saying I've been out of it the entire time?" His voice is rising, growing agitated, and the beeps from the various machines he's hooked up to reflect his panic; any minute a medical droid will come bursting in.

"No, you haven't," Finn assures him. "You've been leading us, like you did at Exegol. We made it back and we've been mopping up ever since, signing treaties, making the galaxy a better place. Just like we said we would."

"But somehow I've forgotten all of it? We defeated the First Order and won the biggest battle since Jakku, and I don't remember any of it?" Poe falls back against his pillows, staring at the ceiling in obvious frustration. "What happened on Akiva?"

"If you mean what happened to _you_ ," Finn says, hearing the reluctance in his voice. "We're not completely sure. We were hoping you could tell us more when you woke up."

That gets him a sharp look from Poe. "You mean you don't know? How long have I been here? In this bed?"

"You've been unconscious for three days."

Poe mouths a curse and closes his eyes. He is silent, his breathing quick and shallow. Before Finn can say anything, the medical droid comes in and literally pushes Finn out of the way. Poe opens his eyes and glares at it.

"Your life signs indicate distress, General," the droid says. "May I inquire as to the reason? Are you in any pain or discomfort?"

"No," Poe grinds out. "I'm fine, except for losing my memory."

"I see," says the droid. "You have been unconscious for several days. Healer Khirana suggested it could be due to psychological trauma. Would you say that is accurate?"

Poe glares at it. "I don't know," he snaps. "I don't _remember_ anything _."_

The droid nods in the way it's been programmed to appear empathetic. It is also running all sorts of tests with a datapad. "Of course, General. Memory loss is not uncommon after such experiences, and may be temporary. I am sorry it is causing you distress. Do you feel the need for a sedative?"

"No," says Poe. "But I do feel the need to be left alone."

"Yes, sir," the droid replies. "I will let Healer Khirana know that you are awake and in otherwise standard health. Unless it is urgent, she will most likely see you in the morning."

"You do that," Poe says, and turns away. Finn watches the droid leave, is silent as he wrestles with what to say. He touches Poe on the shoulder before stepping back.

"I know you want to be alone, so I'll let you rest," he says quietly, and Poe turns over immediately, an expression of both surprise and fear on his face.

"What?" he says, reaching out toward Finn. "No, Finn, not you. I don't want some damn droid poking me right now. Please stay." He offers a crooked grin. "You gotta fill me in on what I missed. On what happened to me."

"Are you sure?" Finn asks, even though he desperately wants to stay, to help Poe through this. "I can get someone else—Jess, or Rose, or—" The last name stops on his lips, unsaid.

Poe's face twists, and he rubs an eye with his hand. "Snap didn't make it," he says quietly. "I remember that. But the others, they're okay?" Finn nods wordlessly, cannot imagine how difficult it must be for Poe to be going through this all over again, even if he doesn't remember the first time. "Who else? What about Rey, did she make it back? Who did we lose on Exegol?"

Finn pulls his chair close again, lays his hands in his lap even though he wants to take Poe's hand. Poe raises an eyebrow. "You're sitting," he says. "Must be bad."

"We lost some good people," Finn starts, and tells him how the battle ended, who they lost, who made it back to celebrate. He knows it is hard to hear, but he also knows he can only be honest. Poe's face goes through so many emotions that Finn wants more than anything to pull him into an embrace and let him grieve, but if Poe has lost the last three months of his life, he's also lost all the time he's spent with Finn, together.

It is Poe who reaches out for him, takes his hand, and Finn simply sits with him, wishing he could do more. Poe looks away, but squeezes so tight Finn can hardly feel his fingers by the time the other man turns back. His eyes are red, but he smiles. "Thank you for telling me," he says. "I know it must be tough for you, to go through it again."

"For me?" Finn exclaims, once again taking his hand away. "Poe, I'm not the one who lost my memory! I can't imagine how hard it is for you!"

Poe shrugs. "I don't remember, and you say it's been three months. It almost feels like it happened to someone else. Tell me what we've been doing since Exegol."

Finn settles down once more to fill him in—on the massive cleanup, on the New Republic's part in it and the role of the Resistance, on the continued effort to smoke out and defeat every last pocket of First Order power left in the galaxy. He tells Poe about the battles at Corellia and Kuat; about Ransolm Casterfo and his unexpected support; about Ambria peacefully overturning one of the last pockets of First Order rule; about the upcoming summit on Chandrila.

There's so much more he could say—Poe doesn't remember _anything_ since Exegol. It stings, that he no longer knows about Finn's Force sensitivity, or that Rey has started to teach Finn what she knows about being a Jedi. Even worse, Poe clearly doesn't remember their first heady kiss after the battle, sitting on the ramp of the _Falcon_ back on Ajan Kloss, surrounded by their friends and found family. He doesn't remember being together every day since, exploring one another long into the night, waking in the morning to soft kisses. Poe doesn't know they are more than co-generals, and Finn's not sure what to do with that.

Poe seems to pick up on something, frowning when Finn is finished. "What's wrong?" he asks when Finn stops. "What are you leaving out?"

Finn shrugs. "All sorts of crazy stuff," he replies. "Probably shouldn't dump it all on you at once. Plus you might not believe me if I did."

Poe sighs. "I don't believe half the things you're telling me right now. So, where's Rey?" he asks, and Finn can hear the inflection, knows exactly where this is going, and thinks he is fine with it. He's told Poe about his Force-Sensitivity once already; the second time should be easier, right?

"She took the _Falcon_ , went to Tatooine and a few other places," he tells Poe, who immediately frowns and starts to protest, exactly like Finn expected. He'd done the same thing the first time, then sent BB-8 with her and commed her every other day. "And she's fine, I talked to her again this morning and she'll be here first thing tomorrow. Chewie and BB-8 went with her, so you'll get to see them again too." Finn can't wait to see Rey, to talk to her about what happened when Poe was attacked. He feels so alone, with Poe unconscious in bed and no one else he feels comfortable talking to about it, not even Rose.

"I was sort of wondering why BB-8 wasn't rolling around my bed in frantic circles," Poe admits. "So, did you get to tell her what you wanted to say on Pasaana, before she left?" Surprisingly enough, he doesn't sound nearly as bothered by it as he did while they were searching for the Wayfinder.

"I did," Finn says, and glances down at his hands, because the second time isn't any easier after all.

"Good," says Poe after a moment. "Because take it from me, you never know when you'll miss your chance. What else did I forget about the last three months?"

Finn glances up in surprise, wondering what Poe means. "That's all? You're not going to give me a hard time, ask what it was?"

"Did you already tell me?" Poe asks pointedly, and Finn nods. "Did I respond badly? Because I feel like I probably did."

"No," Finn says, shaking his head and thinking about how muddled that conversation had been—how Poe had thought Finn was talking about something completely different with Rey, how he'd leaned over to kiss Finn when he'd realized he was wrong. How C3-PO and Chewie had interrupted, and then half the Resistance had shown up to cheer them on. "You didn't. It was good."

"Really?" Poe sounds surprised. "Huh. Well, maybe I'll get my memories back, that way you don't have to—"

"No, it's fine," Finn interrupts. "I want to tell you. Although I hope you do get your memories back, because I'd hate for you not to remember us winning." _Or our first kiss_ , he thinks to himself. "The thing I wanted to tell Rey was…well, not what you were thinking. I'm Force-sensitive, so she's started showing me some things. About the Force."

Poe stares at him, the expression on his face so different than the first time Finn had told him. He looks confused—which, to be fair, he has been since he woke up—but also upset. Disappointed or scared, Finn can't tell, and it feels awful, to think that this time Poe won't be as supportive as he was when Finn first told him.

"Look, it's not a big deal," Finn says, standing so he can leave, although he's not sure where he'll go since it's the middle of the night and he's spent all his time in the medcenter at Poe's bedside. "It's a part of me, but I don't know how much I'll do with it, maybe nothing." Which isn't entirely true, because he wants to learn more about the Force and understand what he's been feeling for so long, what happened out on the street when Poe was attacked. Yet he's also had Poe's support for months, and he's not sure he wants to continue without it.

Poe shakes his head. "No, don't say that," he says, his voice shaky at first, then growing stronger. "It is a big deal, and you should learn about it. You could be a Jedi…Finn, that's the most amazing thing I've ever heard. Congratulations." It's what he said the first time, and he sounds genuine, but also sad, and he glances away, a distant look on his face.

"Thanks," Finn says. "Only you seem weird about it."

Poe doesn't answer right away. When he does, he doesn't look at Finn, he's still studying something in the corner of the room. "And I was fine the first time you told me, right? Excited? I'm sorry." He closes his eyes and drops his head. "I want to be, and I am, it's just that…I have a bad feeling about what happened to me. I don't remember, but…" He meets Finn's eyes, his face stricken. "I think it had to do with the Force."

Finn crosses his arms over his chest and nods. "You were attacked. By a Force-user."

"A Force-user?" Poe asks. "All right, time to tell me how I ended up here." Finn shuffles and Poe points to the chair. "Sit down. I need to know what happened."

Finn reluctantly sits down, gathers his thoughts. "We came to Akiva to help them overthrow the governor. First Order sympathizer, and even though it's been three months, they were not giving up. The Akivans did a lot of the hard work on the ground, we mostly mopped up the skies and routed a few holdouts in the jungle." Poe nods, and Finn is about to continue when his hand shoots out and grabs Finn's arm.

"Wedge?" he asks, panic sending the monitors beeping again. "Nora? Are they okay?"

"Yeah, they're okay," Finn tells him. "I honestly don't think anything could take them down, they are something else. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Wedge is elected governor!"

Poe laughs, though it comes out as more of a nervous snort. "Not a chance, he hates that sort of thing. He was raising keedees when we dragged them off to Corellia."

"Well, he's been here to see you twice, so I got to hear some more embarrassing stories about you at the Academy," Finn says, and he grins, because it was true and it was brilliant, and it's the only moment of levity in an otherwise difficult conversation.

Poe groans. "Great. I don't know whether to tell you they're all true or that he made every one of them up."

"Oh, I know you," Finn laughs. "I know they're all true!"

Poe grins, and Finn wishes he could kiss him, like he's grown used to since the battle, but it's clearly not the time or place. "Anyway. We met with some of the new leaders a few night ago, then went back to our hotel, only you and Kaydel wanted to get some food. You said there was this great little place a short walk away…" Finn tenses, reliving the whole sequence of events and hating it.

"You were attacked on the way. The rest of us had just got to the hotel when…well, when I knew something had gone wrong. We couldn't get you on the comms, and we ran as fast as we could, but…" The guilt rises, literally choking off his words.

"It's okay," Poe tells him. "It's okay that you weren't there. There's no way you could have known something would happen, and—"

"—and I could be laying there instead, or right next to you," Finn finishes. "I know. Doesn't mean I don't wish I'd got there sooner, that I'd somehow sensed what was happening before it did."

"What happened?" asks Poe.

"Like I said before, we're not exactly sure. An old woman attacked you. And I know that sounds ridiculous, but someone said something about her being a witch, that she used magic. She killed six others, innocent beings who were too close."

"And I ended up here, three days later." He frowns and glances around. "But where's Kaydel?" When Finn doesn't answer immediately, Poe knows the answer. He pulls away, shrinking in on himself, shaking his head over and over. "No…oh no…"

Finn feels the tears in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Poe," he whispers. "When we arrived, Kaydel was already down, and several others, and the old woman was kneeling next to you."

Poe's jaw is locked shut, his eyes tightly closed. When he speaks, his voice is raw and broken. "She didn't deserve to die like that. You tell me we won the war, and then she gets cut down on the street? That's bullshit!" He's shouting by the end, falls back against the pillows behind him.

Finn stands, sits next to him on the bed. "I'm so sorry," he says quietly. "I'm sorry it happened, I'm sorry I couldn't save her, and I'm sorry that I had to tell you this way."

"I'm sorry I don't remember," Poe says, his voice flat. "She doesn't deserve that either."

Poe grips his hand tight once more. He turns his head away and Finn can see his chest shaking with silent sobs. Finn has cried many times already, but lowers his head and cries again as he feels Poe's pain and loss. It is sharp and heavy and it _hurts,_ and even worse is the confusion and fear surrounding it. Finn wants to ask about it, but waits for Poe to offer first.

When he's ready, Poe takes his hands back. He wipes his face and sits up more, meets Finn's eyes with a determined look. "This old woman," he says. "You called her a witch?"

"The authorities called her a witch," Finn tells him. "But she didn't use magic, she used the Force. I could feel it."

Poe nods as if that makes sense. "I don't remember anything about her, or what she did, but I remember the feeling, like an echo of it, if that makes sense. She did something to me." He looks angry. "She must have taken my memories."

"Why would she kill Kaydel and six others, but erase your memories?" Finn asks. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Maybe she recognized me," Poe points out. "Wouldn't be the first time."

"Then why not kill you?"

Poe shrugs. "I don't know. But I remember stories, from when I was a kid. Not all Force users are Jedi Knights. Some really are witches, sorcerers—there's all kinds of beings out there using the Force for their own reasons, good and evil." He frowns, looks confused. "What happened to her?"

Finn is not sure what to tell Poe. He's still not sure what happened, or how it happened. It's another reason he's stayed by Poe's side, to think about his actions that day, to try and understand.

"We stopped her. She's in custody now, but she's not cooperating." Finn can see the skepticism on Poe's face.

"How did you stop her?" Poe asks, because Finn can't hide anything from him. "What aren't you telling me? And why?"

Finn purses his lips and lowers his voice. "Because I don't really understand myself, okay? As soon as I knew something was wrong, Jess and C'ai and I ran back the way you'd gone with Kaydel. The old woman was kneeling by you, waving her arms and chanting something. She stopped and raised her hand, pulled all our weapons away. Then she stood up and…and she smiled." Finn looks away, remembering the old woman's eyes, milky white and yet all seeing, her grotesque smile mocking him as she stood over Poe. "She knew who I was—called me by name and said she was glad to see me."

Poe is listening carefully. "Then what?" he asks. "Tell me, please."

"She raised her hand, started chanting again. I knew she was using the Force, and I felt…I don't know what it was…but I held up my own hand and stopped her, pushed back against whatever she was doing as hard as I could. Jess said I shouted, that I fell to my knees, but I don't remember. I only remember crawling over to your side to see if you were still alive. The old woman was twenty feet down the street, unconscious. The authorities arrived then, took her into custody, and brought you here."

"Where is she now?" asks Poe.

"Under heavy guard and even heavier sedation."

"Why?"

"She's a Force-user," Finn tells him sharply. "Clearly strong and dangerous. It would be easy for her to escape. So far, she hasn't tried, but between waiting for you to wake up, and her to break out, it's been a stressful few days." He offers a tired smile, which Poe returns with a nod.

"Finn, I can't imagine what it's been like for you," he says. "Thank you for saving me, for staying with me, for…" He trails off. "For being you. I owe you everything, you know that, right?"

Finn wishes he pull Poe into a warm embrace, press a kiss to his forehead, but he can't put that on Poe, not when he doesn't remember. "I'm just glad you're all right, that you're awake." He offers a crooked grin, trying to lighten the moment. "That you didn't forget my name."

"I could never forget you," Poe murmurs.

Finn wants to shout _But you did!_ only he knows it's unfair. And maybe Poe will remember. Until then, Finn will have to act exactly the same as he did before Exegol. It won't be easy—it's like starting over, when they've come so far—but he'd do anything for Poe. And if Poe doesn't remember anything about the last three months, Finn hopes it will still work out like it did the first time.

"I'm hungry," Poe says out of the blue, frowning as if he's surprised. "Is there anything to eat?"

Finn can't help but lean forward, catching himself halfway and leaving Poe with a surprised look on his face as Finn pats his shoulder instead. "I'll get us something," he says as he stands. "And then you should probably sleep some more." He holds up a hand when Poe protests. "I know you've been sleeping for three days, but between losing your memory and getting an earful of it from me, you probably still need it. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?"

Poe nods with another expression of gratitude, and Finn leaves him, still feeling guilty. C'ai Threnalli is standing guard at the door. The other X-wing pilots have refused to leave Poe unguarded, even with the old woman secure across town and Akivan security in place as well. That is the loyalty Poe inspires, and Finn appreciates it. He nods to C'ai and tells him he can see Poe, then goes to look for food.

Poe is awake and can begin to work toward recovery and finding his way in a world he doesn't remember. And when Rey arrives in the morning, Finn can begin his own journey toward understanding what happened to him as well, and how he and Poe can navigate these new waters together.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is mostly done, so I will be posting updates every few days as I edit. It came from a crazy idea I had that has turned out quite different and a lot longer than I anticipated. Many thanks to mssrj_335 for listening to so much about this and helping with the title. Comments are much appreciated – thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Poe sleeps poorly, either because he's been asleep for three days, or because his brain is buzzing with too much information, desperately trying to understand what's happened to him and what it means. He's been injured before, even seriously, and struggled with the aftermath of torture and loss, but this is different. It's strange, because physically, he feels fine: he's alive, nothing is broken, bruised, or missing. But knowing he's lost three months feels unlike anything that's happened to him, even on the _Finalizer_ ; that Connix didn't survive makes it even worse.

He doesn't remember what happened on Exegol—the end of the battle, the celebrations, the mourning. He has no idea what is going on in the galaxy other than what little Finn has told him, but there must be more to it. He doesn't know why Rey went off to Tatooine, or how Finn is dealing with his Force sensitivity and training. Yet he can tell there's something big Finn is leaving out and not telling him; what he can't figure out is why.

Finn is sleeping in the chair next to Poe's bed. Poe had tried to talk the other man into going back to his own room to sleep, and yet there he is, still watching over Poe. Co-generals. He looks exhausted, with new worry lines framing his face. Poe wonders if it has to do with the state of the galaxy, or the attack on Akiva; maybe it is because of his Force training, or maybe it has to do with Poe.

He knows he let Finn down when the other man revealed his Force sensitivity. It was an immediate, visceral reaction, the memory of being violated not once, but now twice by Force users breaking into his mind. He has every reason to be afraid of such people, of their ability. He is not afraid of Finn, not at all, but he knows he's going to have to work extra hard to convince Finn of that: it was written across the other man's face, clear as day.

In truth, Poe is not surprised by Finn's gift: the former trooper has always had good instincts, and mysterious feelings, as well as the uncanny ability to just _know_ things and understand people. Finn will make a strong Jedi, if that's where his path takes him. Poe hopes that Finn doesn't leave him behind; he needs him, now more than anything, yet how can he expect Finn to stay?

Sitting up in bed, Poe watches Finn sleep and smiles. Finn is a good man and Poe is lucky to call him a friend. That he's wanted to be more for a while is irrelevant now: Finn seems confused about his future, and Poe does not want to add to that uncertainty. Finn should follow the path that calls him, without having to choose one over the other. As he watches, Finn shifts. He doesn't open his eyes, but he's obviously awake.

"You're doing it again," he grumbles.

"Doing what?" Poe asks, trying not to grin. Sleepy Finn is kind of adorable.

"Watching me while I sleep. I'm awake so you can stop." He opens his eyes and sits up straighter, stretching his neck with some rather loud cracks and pops. Poe contemplates the comment, tries to think of another time he's watched Finn sleep and wonders if it's one of those things he's forgotten. He's about to ask about it when Rey, BB-8 and Chewbacca burst into the room with a shout, a growl, and a frantic series of beeps and whistles; Finn almost falls out of his chair in alarm.

"I'm sorry we didn't get here sooner," Rey says by way of greeting. She hugs Finn first, then turns to Poe, leaning over to wrap her arms around his neck. She's not usually so demonstrative, and he can't help but grunt in surprise at her tight embrace. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Poe tells her. "Ready to get out of this damn bed."

"Is he really?" Rey turns and asks Finn.

"I'm right here," Poe huffs, and Chewie laughs.

"He woke up last night," Finn tells her. "And he's fine, only…" He looks at Poe uncertainly.

"I've lost my memory," Poe announces. He almost enjoys the shocked silence, except for the glare from Finn that ruins it.

"It's not something to brag about, like those scars on your back," Finn tells him. He turns to Rey and Chewie. "Three months. He's lost everything since Exegol. He doesn't even remember the end of the battle."

Rey looks from Finn to Poe and back to Finn. "Oh no," she says. "Does that mean he—"

"Nope," Finn interrupts, as if stopping her from saying too much.

"See, there you go again," Poe says, remembering the mission to Pasaana; for him it was not that long ago. "Not telling me everything." He crosses his hands over his chest. "What's the big secret this time?"

"There's no secret," Rey tells him, but Poe is good enough at reading people to know she's covering for something. "Right, Chewie? BB-8?" Chewbacca growls in agreement, but BB-8 beeps a confused question at Poe.

"I don't know what they're talking about either, buddy. The last thing I remember is you and Finn on that carrier, and my ship going down when the power went out."

Rey and Finn exchange another look, and before BB-8 can say anything else, Rey stops him. "It's all right, BB-8. He might get his memory back, and if he doesn't, we'll fill him in, okay? Just not right away."

"Might help me remember if you do," Poe points out. It's starting to bother him, the secret keeping.

"I told him about me," Finn says, then quickly adds, "About the Force." Poe suspects whatever else they're hiding, it also has to do with Finn.

"That was surprise," Poe admits. "He saved my life with it, you know."

"Really?" Rey is genuinely surprised, and somehow Poe feels better, like he's not the only one who doesn't know what's going on. "What happened? You still haven't told me."

Finn looks uncomfortable, and Poe feels bad for mentioning it. He swings his legs over the side of the bed, determined to either escape an awkward conversation or create a distraction. When he stands, he takes a moment to get his feet under him as the room sways, and Finn is there instantly, his arm around Poe's waist. It feels good.

"Whoa," Finn says. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm going to the fresher," Poe tells him. "Then maybe I'll find something to eat and let you and Rey talk about all these things no one wants to tell me about."

Finn shakes his head and tries to help Poe back into bed, but now that he's up, it's the last place he wants to go, and he says so.

"Okay," Finn says. "I'll help you to the fresher—"

"I can do _that_ myself," Poe grumbles.

"—and then get us all some breakfast, how about that?"

"I want to leave the room," Poe says. He sounds like a stubborn child, but to be honest, that's about how he feels. Like a kid whose parents won't tell him the truth until he's older.

"The healer hasn't signed you out, yet," Finn tells him. "So, we'll eat in here, together, and we'll talk about what happened and figure it all out. Okay?"

"Fine," Poe says. "But Rey stays with me."

Finn looks uncertain, but finally shrugs. "Fine. Chewie, want to go get some food?"

The Wookie barks something about finding food he'll actually eat, and follows Finn from the room. Poe gets the impression Finn couldn't leave fast enough, and he frowns after him before turning to Rey.

"I'll be right back," he says, walking slowly to the fresher. BB-8 follows him, like he's worried Poe is going to fall over. "And then I want some answers."

"I don't know anything!" she calls as the door to the fresher shuts behind them.

Poe gazes at his reflection in the mirror: he looks like hell, his eyes dark and sunken, his hair a mess. He relieves himself, washes up as best as can, and cleans his teeth. If he had fresh clothes and his memory back, he'd feel almost normal. He sighs, wondering if he'll ever feel normal with three months of memories missing. BB-8 beeps a quiet question at him.

"Yeah, I'm okay," he tells the little droid. "I'm glad you're here, though." He pats BB-8 on the dome, glad they are all there now—BB-8, Rey, Chewie. And Finn, who he needs—and wants—more than anything. When he leaves the fresher, Rey is looking out the window, quiet and calm. He envies her that.

Grimacing at the bed, Poe settles in Finn's chair instead. "All right, what's he not telling me?" he asks without prelude. "What happened after Exegol that he can't say?"

"What happened when you were attacked?" Rey counters.

"Oh, I get it," says Poe. "I tell you, you tell me? I'm the one who was injured here, you know. I think I deserve some answers."

Rey sighs and pulls up another chair to sit next to him. BB-8 hovers between them, his head swiveling back and forth in the way Poe recognizes as the little droid being anxious. He pats BB-8 again and waits for Rey to answer.

"I'm not sure it's my place to tell you," she says. "It's between you and Finn."

That's unexpected. It confirms that yes, there's something they're not telling him, but what? Did he and Finn have some kind of fight, a falling out in the months after Exegol? Poe can't imagine it and hopes that's not the case. "Does it have to do with him being Force-sensitive? Because I'm okay with it, I am. It caught me by surprise when I woke up, but that was mostly because whoever attacked me used the Force."

"That's what Finn said," Rey replies, leaning forward, almost excited. "But he didn't want to talk about it over the comms. Do you remember?"

"I don't," Poe admits. "But I know what it's like, when someone uses the Force against your mind. Not my first time in the rancor pit, and all that," he offers bitterly. "I think she took my memory."

Rey sits back and studies him. "So you really don't remember the last three months? Nothing at all?"

"Nothing at all," Poe tells her. "And apparently, we've been busy since we won. I'd kind of like to remember that. It was looking pretty bad, from what I recall."

She looks down, shakes her head at BB-8 as if anticipating the little droid saying something. "I'm sorry," she says. "I know it must be very confusing."

"Rey, the only thing that's confusing is why you're hiding something from me," Poe tells her. BB-8 beeps sadly. "And apparently even my droid knows more than I do. I know Finn is Force sensitive—that's what he wanted to tell you on Pasaana—and that you've been working with him. He used it to save my life, and I am so glad he could–"

"How?" she interrupts. "What did he do?"

"I don't know, I was too busy being unconscious," Poe replies dryly. "And he hasn't said much, only that when this old woman raised her hand and used the Force, he pushed back at her somehow, and stopped her. You should talk to him, I think he's confused about it."

She nods. "I know, I could sense it even over the comms. I'll talk to him," she says. "And I'll talk to him about…well, whatever he's not telling you. I imagine he's waiting for the right time, wants to give you a chance to adjust."

"I'll adjust better if I know," Poe tells her. "So if _you_ know, please tell me. I hate being in the dark."

"Oh no," she says. "It is definitely not my place to say anything. Give him some time. You know Finn, he's probably feeling guilty about the attack and needs to work through that first."

Poe sighs. "I know he is, but it's not his fault. He wasn't there, and if he was, he could be dead too."

She reaches over and squeezes his hand. "I'm sorry about Kaydel," she says softly. "She was a good person."

"A good person who didn't deserve to be attacked on the street by some kind of Force-witch," Poe says, trying not to let the ache in his heart overwhelm him once again. "I want to talk to her, you know."

Rey looks skeptical. "If you think it's safe."

"With you and Finn there, I do," says Poe. "He said she knew him, and I have a feeling there's more to this than one random attack."

"Do you think you were targeted?"

"From what Finn said, yes, I do. We need to be sure she's not a bigger threat than we think. I don't want what happened to me to happen to Finn, or anyone else."

Rey nods. "We'll make sure it doesn't. I'd like to talk to her too, to know what she did and how she did it. Maybe it can help get your memories back, if we know more."

Poe studies her face, worried about both her and Finn now. "It's not something to mess with, Rey," he tells her. "It's the Dark side, you must know that."

"I know," she says quietly, patting his leg. "And I'm not interested in learning it, or trying it. But it helps to know what we're facing, what we're fighting, right? You don't have to worry." She offers him a rare smile. "I faced the Emperor. I can handle an old woman."

"See, I don't remember that," he says. "You'll have to tell me how you pulled that off. And I always worry—about you, about Finn. About my pilots and my people. Don't give me any more reasons than I already have."

They fall into a comfortable silence. Poe wonders when Finn will be back with some food as he is starving once again. He'd also like to see the healer and be released from the medcenter. He's ready to get back to the Resistance, to catch up with all he's missed so he can keep doing what they're doing. He may have lost three months of memories, but he's not going to let it stop him from continuing the fight. He will start over as many times as he needs to.

It occurs to him that he may not have a place with the Resistance, at least not the same place. He's been compromised—again—and it's entirely possible no one will accept him as general. Even though he's been doing it for three months, for him, Leia only died hours ago, and he's barely had a chance to get used to being in charge. He suspects Finn won't stand for anyone saying otherwise, but Poe also recognizes the reality of it: he's not the same man he was. The thought twists in his gut, that he may never remember what he's done as leader, and never have the chance to try again.

He can't think about it now, not with so many other things to worry about. Instead, he asks BB-8 about his trip with Rey, enjoys listening to his droid talk about Tatooine while Rey protests the more fantastical parts of his story. Poe doesn't understand why she went there, or to Tython, but he suspects that's because he doesn't remember anything about Exegol other than following Rey's trail there. He's about to ask her about it when Finn and Chewie walk in with the healer and their food.

"Good morning, General," says the healer, a silver-hued Teevan dressed in deep blue robes. "I am Healer Khirana. Our medical droid tells us you regained consciousness during the night and presented with some memory loss."

"Only a few months," Poe tells them. They pat the bed, indicating he should sit there for an exam. Poe sighs and lifts himself up.

"We can come back," Finn offers.

"It's fine," Poe says, at the same time BB-8 whistles something that makes both Rey and Finn go wide-eyed.

"What do you mean, he's seen it all before?" Poe asks, both amused and curious about their reaction. Rey backs up next to Chewie, leaving Finn speechless for a moment, until he manages to stutter an answer.

"You were unconscious for three days," Finn says. "I definitely saw way too much, sorry."

Rey is frowning now, and Poe knows it's because Finn is clearly lying. He wishes they weren't hiding something from him. Something else must have happened since the final battle, something he's forgotten—something so bad Finn can't tell him. Or did it happen on Akiva? The healer asks for his attention and starts their exam.

He's poked and prodded and answers too many questions he'd rather not answer. In the end, the healer pronounces him fit and healthy, aside from the amnesia. "We think you can be dismissed tomorrow. We want you to eat, to sleep, and then we'll do one more exam in the morning. And we'll want to follow up with the memory loss, at least while you're still planet-side."

"Right," Poe says, not sure what they can do about it. "You mean, like a therapist?"

"Yes, a therapist of sorts," the healer says. "There are beings trained in this sort of thing who can often help regain what you've lost."

Poe nods. "Fine, as long as I don't have to spend another three days here. Can I eat now?"

The healer leaves them, and they settle down with the food that Finn brought. Finn doesn't eat a lot, and Poe is hungry, so he and Rey take whatever he leaves. They don't talk much about about what happened during the attack. Rey tells them a little bit more about her trip, and Poe asks a few questions about what he's forgotten over the last three months. Finn seems uncomfortable with both him and Rey, worried and upset. Poe wants to know why, wants to help.

He also wants to sleep. Funny how he's been in bed for three days and after being awake for only few hours, he's ready to crash again. He hopes it's only temporary, his first day up and awake, because he does not want to deal with deliberating fatigue on top of everything else. He wants to move on with his life.

Holding back a yawn, Poe finishes his juice and climbs back into bed. Finn and Rey exchange yet another glance, and Poe rolls his eyes. "I'm tired," he tells them. "Not dying."

"We should let you rest," Rey says, standing immediately. "We can come back later this afternoon, if you want."

"You can stay," Poe says. "Although then you can't talk about me, so it's up to you."

"We're not going to talk about you," Finn protests, and Poe shrugs.

"Of course you are," he says. "Although you should probably talk about whatever happened out there with that Force-user first, and then maybe later you can tell me that other thing you won't tell me." He closes his eyes and sighs. "Always with the secrets," he murmurs, only half joking.

He feels a kiss on his forehead and opens his eyes to find it was Finn, not Rey. He's looking at Poe with that same expression he's been using a lot lately, exasperation laced with fondness, and something else Poe is not sure about, something different and new. Finn turns to leave, but not before Poe sees the sadness in his eyes.

"Get some rest, Poe," he says quietly. "We'll be back this afternoon."

Poe watches them go, hopes BB-8 will stay and is inexpressibly glad when he does.

"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?'

And even his droid beeps sadly, though Poe thinks he might be able to talk the astromech into telling him. He just wishes Finn would talk to him instead.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick update to show a bit of Poe's point of view. Chapters will alternate between them, and I plan to post every few days. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"So, when are you going to talk to him?" Rey asks as soon as they leave the medcenter. Finn shakes his head and doesn't answer. He looks around, wondering what they are doing outside, where they should go. He's barely seen the sun for days, sitting by Poe's side, and he's not sure what to do now that Poe is awake.

"Finn, he knows you're keeping something from him," Rey continues as they walk. "And he thinks it's bad, something he might have done wrong."

"He didn't do anything wrong," Finn mutters. He sees a bench nearby and walks toward it and they sit down side by side. Rey pulls up one leg underneath her and turns toward Finn, who leans forward with his elbows on his knees and sighs. "He forgot about me, that's all."

"Finn, it's not his fault," Rey says. "I know it's hard, but you can't hold it against him and keep things from him."

"I know it's not his fault," Finn tells her. "I was there. I saw what she did to him. I'm not mad at him, and I'm not keeping things from him to hurt him, but I don't know what to do, how to act!"

"Why?" she asks. "You've been together for three months. You know him, and you owe him the truth."

"Rey, I don't want to tell him we were…you know, together…and then expect him to jump right back into it. He doesn't remember anything from the moment that Force-lightning hit on Exegol! He doesn't remember winning, or celebrating, or anything about _us_." It hurts to say it out loud, more than Finn would have expected.

"And you think if you tell him, he's going to feel pressured into doing something he's already done?" Rey's tone is dry. Finn knows it sounds ridiculous, but he can't help it. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but he doesn't want Poe—without his memory now—to be with him only because he feels like he _has_ to be with Finn. He wants Poe to come to that on his own. Which apparently means keeping things from him, like how much Finn wants to kiss him and hold him and—

"Finn?" Rey asks, interrupting his increasingly intense thoughts. He half moans, thinking they might never get back to where they were a few days ago. Poe might choose something completely different this time, and Finn may not be part of that choice. He's not sure what he'd do if that happened, knowing that he had a chance and lost it.

"Sorry," Finn says. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm worried about, as stupid as it sounds. What if he doesn't even believe me?"

"Believe you?" she echoes, sound surprised. "Why wouldn't he believe you? Finn, no one thinks you're the kind of person to make up something like _that_ to get him into your bed. Especially Poe. You're going to have to trust him—he's a grown man, after all. And it's obvious how he feels about you—has been for ages! He chose you before, he'll chose you again. If that's what you're worried about," she adds quickly.

Finn nods. "That's exactly what I'm worried about. He may decide he doesn't want this after all. He's lost three months of his life and that's going to affect him. He may even decide he doesn't want to be a general anymore!"

"Of course he won't," Rey tells him, resting her hand on his arm. "Finn, no one is more dedicated to the Resistance than Poe. He's not going to change his mind about that. I only hope that no one tries to force him out."

"What?" Finn sits up and looks at her in surprise. "What do you mean, force him out? Why would anyone do that?"

"Because he's a leader without his memory," she says. "He's forgotten everything he's done to lead the Resistance since Exegol. You and I may not question his ability to still be your co-general, but there are those that will, whether they like him or not."

Finn stares at her, because he hadn't even considered it. But yes, there are some beings—mostly from outside the Resistance—who do not like Poe, and would gladly use any excuse to call for him to step down now. Which makes Finn feel even worse, because what would Poe do then? Would he fight for his position, or leave? And how could Finn lead without him if he did?

"No way," he tells Rey. "That's not happening. I won't let it. And if he even thinks about leaving, I'm going with him."

"Oh Finn," she murmurs, patting his knee. "You are such a good man. You just have to talk to him, and it will be fine. Now, tell me about the attack. And why you wouldn't talk to me over the comms!"

Finn groans again. "What is with all the questions? First Poe, now you!"

"I want to help," she says. "I can sense you're confused about it."

He fills her in on their mission to Akiva, on the battle, on their meeting with the interim government once they'd forced the First Order out. He tells her how Poe and Kaydel had gone to get them some food the night they were attacked, and how he'd felt the moment when they'd been attacked. When he gets to the part about confronting the old woman, he struggles.

"It felt…wrong," he says. "Whatever she was doing—everything about her! She looked up at me and I felt a wave of hate. She knew who I was." He pauses, closing his eyes against the memory. "She said she was glad to see me, so that I could watch what she was doing to Poe."

"What was she doing to Poe?" Rey asks gently.

"I have no idea," Finn tells her. "She was kneeling over him, chanting something. It sounded horrible, evil. There was this light, I don't know if she was taking it from Poe, or poisoning him with it. Maybe it was his memories, maybe that's how she took them!" He shakes his head. "I've never seen anything like it, or felt anything so cold, so dark. She stopped when we arrived, disarmed us easily. She raised her hands and started chanting again, and I could feel something coming toward us."

"Poe said you stopped it," Rey says. "Is that what's bothering you?"

"I stopped it," Finn nods. "I don't know how, but I did—instinct, I guess. Like a shield. And no, that's not what's bothering me. It's what happened next."

Rey moves closer. "You can tell me," she says. "I can help."

Finn drops his head, unable to look her in the eye. "I felt so much anger at that moment," he says, his voice barely a whisper. "And so much fear, that she was going to kill Poe. It's like I gathered it up, and pushed it all back at her, to stop her from hurting anyone else. It came rushing from me—not like lightning, like you did on Pasaana, but a wave of energy. And that's what stopped her: blew her down the street, broke her arm, and knocked her clean out."

"I see," says Rey. She sounds more like she is thinking about it than judging him. "You're worried what you did was—what? Dangerous? Wrong?"

"Rey!" he exclaims, sitting up and turning toward her. "It's clearly dangerous, and yes—it felt _very_ wrong. Like I was pulling the power to stop her from the wrong place, and using it the wrong way. I don't know what it was, but I know I don't want to do it again—only I would," he tells her, the guilt and shame he's felt ever since, coming back once more, leaving a sour taste in his throat. "If someone threatened Poe, or you, or anyone else—I would do it again."

She nods slowly. "You think you may have tapped into the Dark Side, don't you? And that it will pull you in, take over."

"I'm not worried about it pulling me in," he tells her, "because I would _choose_ to do it again. That's what scares me, Rey. Not some mindless takeover—but making the conscious choice to do the same thing, tap into the same power, even knowing it was wrong." He turns away, drops his voice. "Because I would do anything to protect the people I love."

She is quiet for so long that Finn is almost positive he's said the wrong thing, that she's trying to think of how to let him down gently when she tells him he can no longer learn about the Force. That he's too dangerous. And maybe she'd be right. He knows he touched the Dark side, and he should be more scared of it, but he's more scared of himself.

"Finn," she finally starts, taking his hand. "You are one of the strongest, kindest people I know. There isn't a drop of cruelty in you, only the desire to do right, to do good. You have to believe that, above all. You _are_ the Light." She smiles, but there is an intensity to her eyes that Finn rarely sees, and it is almost intimidating.

"Rey, I felt the Dark. I _know_ it's there now, inside of me." He can't explain, but he hopes she understands. She nods as if she does.

"You felt fear, for Poe, and anger, for what was done to him and Kaydel. That's normal, natural. You reached inside to defend them, to save them. That comes from the light, Finn. Your love, it is only good, never evil." She takes a breath, looks into the distance. "What you have to learn is how to tap into the power of that love, not the fear, and not the anger. It may give you more power in the moment, but it will only weaken you over time. Consume you, like it did Kylo Ren."

"How do I know the difference?" Finn asks. "I felt so much, and I reacted on instinct, and that's what happened. How do I know I'm using the Light, rather than the Dark?"

"Well, that's what you have me for!" She says with another smile, squeezing his hand. "And while I'm no expert, I have felt the pull. It's hard to resist, I know it is. But we can work on it together, recognizing the anger and fear, and setting it aside to follow the path of love and light."

He can't help but laugh, because she sounds both incredibly wise and completely ridiculous. Yet, it makes a sort of sense...even if it leaves him with more questions. "How do you resist?" he asks. "The pull of the Dark side? If someone is in danger, what if that's the only thing that will save them?"

"It's never the only thing," she says, and he can sense how strongly she believes that. "There's always another way. Because in the end, it will only ruin you, and anyone else you love. And that's what you have to remember: the Dark side will leave you nothing but a servant to your fear and anger. And that is definitely not who you are, Finn. _You_ have always been in charge of you _._ You didn't let the First Order take your humanity, you set aside your fear to leave the First Order, and you've never let anger or revenge guide your fight against them. You're stronger than you think. We have to work on recognizing and following the Light—and getting you to trust and believe in yourself."

"And how do we do that?" he asks again, both skeptical and curious. He's confident in his ability to do many things, but this may be something he struggles with.

"I'm not really sure," she says. "I can only tell you what I felt, what Master Luke taught me. But I know we can figure it out, together."

Somehow, her words fill him with hope. There's still that fear, that he will choose the path of least resistance next time someone he cares about is threatened, that he will touch the darkness again and may not come back from it, but for the first time since it happened, he feels like he can start to work against that. That he can train himself to recognize the Dark and turn toward the Light. He trusts Rey, knows what she's been through, and if anyone can guide him, she can.

"Together being a relative term," she says after a moment, watching him thoughtfully. "Since you are _together_ with Poe, you know."

"Rey—"

"You have to talk to him, Finn," she tells him, leaning forward earnestly. "Because I can sense how scared you are at losing him. That's not going to help you figure this out. You should tell him how you feel."

"How I feel?"

"Finn," she chastises, and he waves her off.

"No way," he says. "I'm not doing that to him now. I'll tell him about…well, about me and him, but that's it. Whatever happens next is up to him."

"And it's going to work out," she assures him. "I know it will. Now, what do you want to do while he's sleeping? Go back to your room and clean up? Get something to eat since you picked at your food earlier? Take a nap because I can tell you've been sleeping in that chair for three days?"

"You can tell?" he asks, pretending to be offended, and she laughs. He laughs with her, but when he stops, he knows what he needs to do.

"I want to see the old woman," he says. "The Akivan authorities are still holding her, but she's refused to talk to them. Maybe she'll talk to us."

She nods in understanding. "Poe said he wants to see her, too."

Finn glances sharply at her. "No way. Why would he want that?"

"He thinks there's more to this." She touches his arm. "What do you think? You were there, too."

"I think he may be right," Finn admits. "She might be a crazy old Force witch, but I have a feeling…" He trails off, not sure what his feeling is, but that it's not over. "That there's more—more to her plan, more people like her, I don't know. We need to be sure Poe's safe."

"We need to be sure you're _both_ safe," Rey points out. "Poe is worried about you as well." She sits back and nods. "And once again, that's why you have me!"

"That's exactly why I have you," Finn laughs. "Everyone needs a Jedi who can kick ass to back them up. Speaking of which, you're holding back about Tatooine, I can tell. Why don't _you_ do some talking?"

She looks away, suddenly distant, but when she turns back, she is grinning like a much younger girl, brimming with unexpected excitement. "All right," she says. "I've been waiting to tell you in person, so why don't we walk to the detention center while I tell you about my new name?" She stands and holds out her hand.

"A new name!" he exclaims. "How have you not said anything until now?"

"Because there were more important things to talk about," she says. "But I can't wait to tell you how it happened, so let's go."

Finn takes her hand and they start walking. Rey talks, and for a little while Finn is able to forget that Poe has forgotten the last three months of their life together, that a Force witch may be out to hurt them. Rey's story, and the sense of peace and contentment she exudes as she tells him more about her trip to Tatooine, is a reminder that sometimes people really do get their happy endings. Rey Skywalker, the last of the old Jedi and the first of the new.

He's happy for her, and hopes that his story—and especially his story with Poe—ends just as well.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Poe wakes up suddenly, shaken out of sleep by a nightmare. He's tangled in his bedsheets, hot and sweaty. With a curse, he sits up, runs a hand through his hair, and then runs to the fresher, where he brings up at least half of his breakfast from that morning.

Swearing again, he rinses his mouth and steps back into his room to find Jessika Pava waiting for him, looking worried as BB-8 whistles sadly at him.

"You all right?" she asks, reaching out to help him, but he nods and waves her away and walks over to the chair beside his bed. It's late afternoon, and there is no way he's going back to sleep after that dream. He wishes Finn was there. BB-8 rolls over and bumps into his knees, and Poe rests his hand on the droid's dome. Jess pulls up the other chair and leans forward, hands on her elbows, and gives him a look.

"So. Memory loss. That's new."

Poe can't help but grin, and then she grins, and then they are laughing like it's the most hysterical thing in the galaxy, even though it isn't.

"New and unexpected," Poe finally says.

"How are you feeling?" she asks. He thinks about it and tries to answer honestly.

"I don't know. Sort of all over the place." He pours himself some water, takes a sip and hopes it stays down. "When I first woke up last night, I was confused—thought maybe I'd gone down on Exegol—but glad to be alive and awake. Then Finn told me it was three months later than I thought it was, and that kind of screwed me up." She snorts; it's definitely an understatement.

"Apparently, I was attacked in the street and lost my memory. But there's something else going on I can't put my finger on—Finn is acting weird. There's something he's not telling me. And I think the attack rattled him, but he's not talking about that either." Poe realizes Jess was there the night he was attacked; maybe she knows something.

"Hey, BB-8, why don't you see if Finn and Rey are back yet?" he asks. The droid hesitates. "I'll be fine, Jess is here. You can get out a bit, too, okay?" After a moment of silence, BB-8 beeps sadly. "Yes, I guess I do want to talk to Jess alone. Do you mind? Find Rey and Finn while we catch up, okay?"

The droid leaves slowly, as if reluctant. Jess watches him roll away, then turns to Poe. "All right, why'd you send him off?"

"Because he's under orders not to tell me things," Poe says. "But you're not. Now, you were there that night, you saw what happened. Tell me what you saw. I need to understand, something doesn't feel right."

She nods, though she looks apprehensive. "What did Finn tell you?"

"I don't want his story again, I want yours," Poe says, then offers a grin. "I could make it an order."

"Order your droid to talk to you," she says.

"He wasn't there, and he's hiding something else," Poe says. "Which I will also bother you about. "

Jess rolls her eyes. "If he's hiding something, I'm not going to snitch either. But as for the night you were attacked, I don't think there's anything to hide. You and Connix decided to pick up food from some two-bit diner you said was amazing. The rest of us went back to the hotel, the Black Opal—"

"Nice," Poe interrupts. "We splurged."

"The new council put us up there, as thanks," she says. "Like we can afford that!"

"You mean the Resistance is still broke?" Poe asks, pretending to be shocked. "Winning really isn't everything."

Jess laughs before she continues. "We'd just walked up to the door when Finn froze. He said something about you and Connix being in trouble and took off. C'ai and I followed while the others called for help. We found you a few blocks away."

She stops and looks down at her hands, and Poe knows this next part must be hard. He reaches out and takes her hand. "I'm sorry you have to remember," he tells her. "But I'd like to know what you saw."

Squeezing his hand, she nods and continues. "Connix was already down next to you. This old woman, she was dressed in rags, with dirty, tangled hair, like something out of a bad dream. She was kneeling next to you, waving her hands like she was performing some kind of ritual. There was a strange glow, like foul smoke, hovering between you and her…kind of like she was pulling it from you, or maybe pushing it in. When she looked up, she had these awful eyes…"

Jess takes a breath. "I could swear she was blind, but with one wave of her hand, she sent our weapons flying. She probably could've sent us flying, too. She stood up and looked right at Finn and called him by name. She said she was glad Finn had come, so that he could watch her have revenge."

Poe looks up in surprise. "Revenge? Finn didn't say anything about revenge."

"I'm sure that's what she said," Jess said. "I don't know what for, but it could be anything, given your illustrious career with the Resistance."

"Anything," Poe murmurs, lost in his thoughts. He senses something, just out of reach, wishes he could grab it and understand it. Something he heard once, about Akiva, something that might help piece it all together. He motions at Jess to continue while he half listens and tries to remember.

"She started chanting again, and I thought for sure we were dead, but Finn raised his hand and somehow, nothing happened," she says. "He stopped it, whatever she was trying to do. And then he shouted, and it was like he pushed her away somehow—the old woman went flying down the street. Finn fell to his knees and crawled to you while we went and secured the witch. And then help showed up, but it was too late for…"

They share a moment of silence for Kaydel. Poe still can't believe the woman who was a steady rock at Leia's side is gone now, too. What are they going to do without her quiet determination, strength, and organization? "Do you know how he did it?" he finally asks, not sure if others know about Finn's Force-sensitivity. If he remembered the last few months, he'd probably know, but he doesn't, and he realizes he's going to have to ask a lot of questions in order to find his footing in what is essentially a new world to him. He will probably mess up many, many times.

"Do you?" she asks slowly, and he nods.

"Yeah, he told me, but I don't know if he's told anyone else."

Jess seems to catch on immediately to what Poe is asking. "I'm guessing he used the Force," she says. "It's not a secret that he's been working with Rey."

"Okay, good," Poe says, relieved. "I didn't know if you knew, since I didn't know I knew until he told me…well, again. Apparently, he told me a while ago, but…" He trails off, shakes his head. "Okay, the thing is…there's something else Finn isn't telling me. And I don't think it has to do with the attack, since that's about what he said happened, although there's something weird with that too. I think something else happened over the last three months, something I don't remember and he doesn't want to tell me, only I should know, shouldn't I? If it's important enough to keep from me, it's important enough to tell me, right? Rey knows, and BB-8, but no one will tell me!"

Jess looks like she's having a hard time following him, until she suddenly sits up straighter and goes "Oh!" and Poe knows she knows, too. He crosses his arms over his chest and assumes his most commanding pose.

"Out with it, Pava."

"Out with what?"

"Tell me what's going on so everyone can stop tiptoeing around it." She's silent. "Look, I think it has to do with me and Finn—did we have a fight or something?"

She covers her mouth, shakes her head. "No, oh no—not at all," she says. "Of course you didn't, Poe—he's been by your side for three days. That's not a guy who's mad at you."

"Am I supposed to be mad at him, then?" Poe asks, though he sincerely doubts that's the case, because he can't imagine Finn ever doing anything to ruin their friendship.

"Absolutely not," she says. "Poe, I don't think you have anything to worry about, so stop worrying. Finn will talk to you when he's ready."

"That's what I don't understand!" Poe bursts out. "I'm fine, I've only forgotten the last couple of months. But I won't remember anything if no one tells me what I did during those three months. I feel like maybe…maybe I did something bad, and if I did, I wish someone would—"

Jess turns away, holding back a laugh. "Jess! What did I do? Did I screw up a battle, mess up a negotiation or something?"

"Poe!" she exclaims. "It's nothing like that. You've been brilliant at taking over and we're doing great. You and Finn are amazing, even now that you're—" She stops abruptly. "Now that you're co-generals."

"That's not what you were going to say," Poe points out.

"It's not what I was going to say," she admits.

"Now that we're—what?" he asks. She shakes her head. "Jess, what happened to me and Finn? Are we okay?"

She nods vigorously. "Oh, you are _more_ than okay," she says, and he can practically feel her willing him to understand, and something occurs to him, only it seems impossible. It must show on his face, however, because she nods vigorously, as if encouraging him to actually say it.

"You don't mean we're—" He starts, but is interrupted by BB-8, zooming into the room with a happy greeting. Jess sits back and lets out a sigh of relief. He catches her eye and she nods. Is she confirming what he'd been about to ask? How is it possible? How could he forget something like that?

Finn and Rey are not far behind BB-8, and Poe is relieved to see that Finn looks better: still tired, but not as tense. Poe smiles at him, and gets a warm smile in return that makes him feel like he'll be okay for the first time since he woke up again. He may not remember his life, and he may not remember Finn's place in it over the last few months, but as long as Finn looks at him like that, he can muddle through.

"Hi," says Rey. "Did you have a good nap?"

Poe shakes his head. "Had a nightmare and threw up, but I feel better now," he says. Jess sniggers and stands. "What?"

"You're always making light of it all, aren't you?" she asks. "Does that mean we get to make amnesia jokes now?"

"No," says Finn, at the same time Poe says, "As long as they're good ones."

Jess rolls her eyes. "I'll start working on some. And I'll let you all talk, I'm back on guard duty."

"I don't need a guard," Poe tells her. "But thanks for visiting."

"You're welcome," Jess says. "But I'm still going to be at the door, and Iolo will be here after me. You're not the only one with a bad feeling about this."

Finn watches Jess leave before taking her place. "What does she mean, a bad feeling? About what? Did you remember something?" He shakes his head and starts over. "Never mind, are you okay? You said you got sick?"

"I think I ate too much, too fast, this morning," Poe admits. "Although I did have a hell of a nightmare, which also didn't help," he says, holding up his hand to stop Finn from worrying. "But I'm fine, honestly. I had 'em after Jakku, too." He glances from Finn to Rey. "What have you been up to?"

"We went and saw the old woman who attacked you," says Rey. "But she's still uncooperative."

"Completely," adds Finn. "She pretended she was asleep, didn't even turn around."

"So you didn't get to talk to her," Poe murmurs. "Good, because I want to go with you next time."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Finn asks.

"Maybe, maybe not," Poe shrugs. "But there's something we're missing…"

Rey speaks into the quiet. "I think she's Sith." There is shocked silence. "I don't know why, it's just a feeling I had, when we were there."

"What?" Finn exclaims, sounding shocked. "You didn't say anything about Sith!" But for Poe, several things slot into place all at once.

"That's it," he says, sitting up straighter. "That's the missing piece. That's what we need to be looking for!"

Finn looks confused, and Rey exchanges a glance with him. "What do you mean?" she asks.

Poe tries to pull it all together in his head, make it come out in some sort of coherent form. "Finn, you said she knew who you were. I think she knew who I was, too. I think she knew we were here and targeted us."

"Why?"

Poe almost rolls his eyes. "Aren't you used to being on every bounty hunter's top ten list? Am I right in thinking that we're worth even more now?" Finn nods reluctantly and Poe continues. "But she's not in it for money. Jess told me the old woman said something about revenge."

Finn nods slowly, as if trying to remember. "Yeah, she did. I almost forgot about that. Revenge for what?"

"Myrra is built over a system of tunnels, catacombs. There was a droid factory down there during the Clone Wars—yes, I know my history," he adds, seeing the surprise on Rey's face. "I'm smarter than I look sometimes. Anyway, last time I was here, I remember Wedge saying something about those tunnels, about how some people thought maybe it was an old Jedi maze, or a breeding ground for Hutts." He pauses. "Which—eww. But he also said something about it being used by the Sith."

"Sith?" Finn asks. "Here on Akiva?"

"The Sith have been around for thousands of years. They always survive," Poe tells him. "Why not underground on Akiva?"

"I thought they were all on Exegol?"

Poe shrugs. "That may have been where they've been hiding and building their fleet for the last thirty years, but the galaxy is a big place. No one knows what's out there—or who. Maybe not another Darth Vader, but certainly beings who use the Force according to Sith beliefs."

"And you think we should be worried?" Rey asks. "Afraid of them?"

"They have good reason for revenge," Poe says. "What do you know about the Sith? Have you talked with Kin about it?"

"A little," Rey admits. "When we were translating the Jedi books. But even the Jedi don't seem to have known much about them." She pauses. "Or they didn't write it down for others to know."

"We know enough," Finn says. "They tried to kill us on Exegol. They tried to turn you into some kind of evil empress—"

"Seriously?" asks Poe. That's news to him.

"—and they tried to kill Poe. They're bad. End of story."

Rey frowns. "Not all of them, surely," she says. "Just because they're Sith doesn't mean they're all evil."

"Rey," Poe tells her. "Sith is a choice, a way of life. They could choose the path of the light, but they don't. They choose to serve the Dark Side, to follow Sith beliefs."

"How do you know so much about this?" Finn asks. He looks impressed, and Poe tries not to glow with it.

"I don't, not really," Poe admits. "But as a kid, I was fascinated by stories of the Jedi and the Sith—my parents fought with Luke Skywalker, remember? My mom flew a mission with him to Vetine, to find the fragments of the Force Tree that once stood in the Jedi temple. When I finally made it to the Academy, it all came back, and I took every history course I could."

Rey is looking at him in amazement. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Because you're the Jedi, not me," Poe tells her. "I was a star-struck kid who loved stories and wanted to be a pilot when I grew up."

"Why not a Jedi?" she asks. Poe is starting to feel slightly uncomfortable with the history lesson on his life, but then he reminds himself that at least he remembers it, and for the most part, he has nothing to hide.

"I knew," he tells her. "I knew I couldn't feel the Force like a Jedi, because I was born to be a pilot. But my story isn't the point here—we were talking about the Sith, remember?"

"Right," says Finn. "So Rey thinks the old woman who attacked you is a Sith, and you're saying maybe there are more here—am I getting this right?"

"We won't know until we talk to her," Poe says. "And I'd like to be there. Hopefully they'll let me out tomorrow like they said they would." He pauses and looks back and forth between them. "Did you have a chance to talk when you were gone? About … whatever you needed to talk about?"

"Are we really doing this again?" Finn asks, but there is a small smile on his face that makes Poe feel more at ease. And more honest.

"Look, I may not remember what's gone down the last three months—" Finn's eyes go wide and Rey covers her mouth to hide a grin, then suddenly jumps up and makes an excuse about using the fresher down the hall—"but I do know there's something you're not saying. As long as you talked to someone about it, I'm good." He's lying through his teeth, and Finn knows it because his face is nothing but skeptical. "Okay, fine—if it's something I should know, something I did or something about us, I hope you'll tell me. I'm walking blind through these last few months, and I'm going to trip a lot. I know I already did, when you told me about the Force."

"No, it's fine," Finn says, shaking his head. "I get it—you were attacked by a Force witch, I probably picked the worst time possible to tell you I was Force-sensitive."

"And I picked the worst time to remember it was the Force that she used against me," Poe tells him. "Not to mention, the worst way to react. But you have my complete support, you know that, right? I'm not afraid of you, Finn. And nothing could ever change my mind."

Finn sighs and leans forward, elbows to his knees as he looks at the floor instead of Poe. "That's part of the problem—that after what happened, you _will_ be afraid of me. That you _should_ be."

"I'm not, and there's no reason—"

"You didn't see what I did," Finn tells him, his voice quiet and raw. "You didn't feel what I felt, when I saw you lying there, saw her standing over you. The fear, the anger. The need to do whatever I had to do. It came bursting out of me, all of it. I could have killed her."

"But you didn't," Poe says. "Finn, are _you_ scared of this?"

"I wasn't until that moment," Finn tells him. "Because in that moment, I not only sawhow the Force could hurt someone I care about, but how I could have the same power, and hurt others."

Poe stands and walks over to Finn, holds out his hand and waits for the other man to take it. When he finally does, far more reluctant than usual, Poe pulls him to his feet and wraps his arms around Finn, holding him tight until he relaxes. It feels different, somehow, more right than any other time they've embraced after a mission, or an injury. Poe wonders if he's remembering something he's lost, or if it's wishful thinking. Finn sighs as he buries his face in Poe's neck.

"Is this one of the things that's been bothering you?" Poe asks him quietly.

"Yes."

"Did you talk to Rey about it?"

"Yes."

"And what did she say?"

"That I reacted on instinct, and she can help me learn how to control it better. That there's too much good in me to turn completely."

"She's a smart girl," says Poe. "You should listen to her. And me, because I'm going to say the same thing: you did what you had to do, but that doesn't make you a bad person. You may have tapped into something that felt wrong, but you did it for the right reasons, and you can learn how to set aside that fear and anger, so that next time you tap into it, you're tapping into the light."

Finn stills, lifts his head, and gazes at Poe in amazement. "How do you know all that? And how do you know exactly what to say?"

Poe shrugs, feeling a strange but not unwelcome spark between them. "I know _you_ ," he says. For some reason, a pained look crosses Finn's face, and he closes his eyes.

"I miss you," he murmurs.

"I'm right here," Poe tells him, wondering about the other man's response. "And I've got you."

Finn laughs, though Poe hears a sniffle and wonders if it's as much a sob as a laugh. He wants to say more, but he's confused—there's so much he obviously doesn't remember, doesn't understand, including this unexpected intimacy between them. He suddenly wants to kiss Finn and never stop, but that can't possibly be what Jess meant about him and Finn, can it? Only he thinks Finn is staring at his lips, and it's so hard not to lean forward.

"Finn—" he starts, and Finn's eyes jump up to meet Poe's.

"Sorry," the other man murmurs. "But I really want to—"

And of course Rey comes back at that moment, opening the door only to stop in her tracks and stutter an apology. Healer Khirana walks right into her, gives her an annoyed look, then steps around her and starts asking questions. Finn quickly steps away, as far away as he can in the small room as he looks anywhere but at Poe. Poe can't take his eyes off the other man, though, and wills Finn to look at him, to give him some sign that what just happened was real, that Poe's wasn't imagining it.

When Finn finally glances up, he meets Poe's gaze and smiles, and Poe lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He turns to the healer and grins. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear a single word you said."

The healer frowns. "Are you feeling well, General?"

"Yes," Poe tells her honestly. "Much better."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let a girl know what you think? Comments make our day and inspire us to keep writing. Next chapter in a few days!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The healer lets Poe leave the room for something to eat, and after he cleans up in the fresher and changes into the clothes Finn brought him, he almost looks and sounds normal. Finn, however, can still see the new worry lines around Poe's eyes, sense the uncertainty hovering around him. It comes and goes—Poe is a naturally confident man who is not easily rattled—but it's there, and it hurts Finn to see Poe struggle with his memory.

Getting out of the room, however, seems to greatly improve his mood, and they spend several hours talking and even laughing with Jess, Rose, and several others in the cafeteria of the medcenter. Until Poe suddenly freezes, staring at something across the room. He recovers quickly, but not before Finn glances in the same direction. He's not sure what he's looking for—he sees nothing but a middle-aged man dressed in black—and he catches Poe's eye. The other man looks troubled, as well as tired.

"You want to go back to the room?" Finn asks quietly from next to him. Poe nods.

"Sorry," he murmurs. "I don't mean to break up the party."

"Is everything all right?" asks Rose, and Rey frowns with concern. Poe gives them a crooked smile.

"I think I'm going to head back to my room. The healer said I could leave in the morning, though, so you're not rid of me yet."

"We couldn't be rid of you if we tried," Jess drawls. "Which we won't, because it's actually good to see you up again."

"You'll probably be sick of me in a week," Poe laughs, but Finn can hear the forced lightness behind it. "You guys stay, finish your dinner, relax. I'll be upstairs crashing, if anyone needs me." BB-8 beeps a question at him, and Poe smiles at his droid. "Of course, buddy. You're always welcome, unless you want to hang out down here." BB-8 rolls over to Poe's side.

"I'll go with you, too," Finn says, and to his relief, Poe does not argue, but nods gratefully.

Everyone stands up and many hugs are exchanged, and by the time they leave, Poe is rubbing the back of his neck and yawning.

"You don't have to walk me home, you know," Poe tells Finn. "I'm not going to be much company tonight."

"It's fine," Finn tells him, because there's no way he's leaving Poe on his own. He's sure one of the pilots will probably turn up to stand guard before long as well. "I'd rather take it easy."

"Oh, so I'm your excuse to get some peace and quiet?" Poe asks. There is a funny beep from BB-8 and Finn laughs, because Poe in public is usually the opposite of peace and quiet. What a lot of people don't seem to realize is that Poe values silence and solitude as well. He draws energy from people when he's with people, but he needs to recharge on his own. Which, for the last several months, has been in their shared quarters, where they are content to sit quietly when they have the chance, talking, reading, watching a holo, or enjoying other more recreational activities. It's barely been a week and Finn misses those moments.

"You're not an excuse, no," Finn tells him as they enter the room where Poe has spent the last several days. It's been cleaned, and Poe goes immediately to the bed and collapses face down in his pillow.

"You sure you're all right?" Finn asks. Poe mumbles something into the pillow before turning his head toward Finn.

"I'm fine, honestly. Just exhausted again." He flops over on his back. "I hate this."

"Your brain is still recovering," Finn tells him. "It's okay to be tired."

"I don't want to be tired all the time," Poe complains, and he sounds so much like his usual petulant self that Finn can't help but smile as he sits down in his chair next to the bed. "I want to get out of here, make sure there's nothing going on with this Sith woman, then go home. Get back to doing what I was doing." His arm covers his face and he sighs. "If I could remember what that was."

BB-8 beeps sadly for Poe. Finn can hear the frustration in Poe's voice and hates it. He reaches out for Poe, but stops. Poe cracks an eye open, catches Finn moving away.

"You don't have to avoid touching me, you know," Poe says, and he sounds both confused and disappointed. "You seem weird about that, since I woke up."

"Sorry," says Finn. "I don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable."

"Why would it?" asks Poe. He turns to his side, resting his head on his hands. "Look, I know we're not big talkers, but I'd really like to know what's going on with this. With us."

"There's nothing…well, nothing to worry about," Finn tells him, and Poe huffs before he even finishes.

"That's what Jess said. But I'm worried anyway." He sighs again. "Finn, the last thing I remember was the mission to find Exegol. We had some weird moments, and I'm sorry—about the thing with Rey, about everything on Kijimi, about—"

"Poe, stop." Finn takes a deep breath. "You have nothing to apologize for. We're good."

"You might be, but I've forgotten it all," Poe points out. "So I'm apologizing anyway. And if something else happened that made things uncomfortable between us, I'm sorry for that too. I just wish you would tell me."

"Nothing happened, Poe—nothing bad, anyway." He holds back a cringe, knowing he's left another wide opening for Poe to jump through. BB-8 practically confirms it with a surprised little beep.

"Something did happen, I knew it! Did we have a fight? Did we finally go our separate ways?"

"Separate ways?" Finn asks. "What are you talking about?"

"Do you still want to be a general?" Poe asks. "Because I needed you then, and I _really_ need you now, but I know there must be so many other things you want to do now that it's over. Especially knowing that you're Force-sensitive." He looks both proud and sad. "You're gonna be an amazing Jedi, you know."

"Maybe," says Finn. "And I want to learn about the Force, especially after what happened, but that doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. I'm still your co-general, Poe, and I'm not leaving your side."

"You mean now that someone has to remind me of what I've missed the last three months?" The bitterness sounds wrong from a man like Poe, usually so hopeful and strong. "Finn, I don't want to hold you back, keep you from moving on—"

"Poe!" Finn exclaims. He stands up and starts pacing, BB-8 trailing after him. Why is Poe being so difficult? How can he possibly think Finn would leave now, after all they've been through? "Stop it with the self- sacrificing already. You're stuck with me. And for the record, since I am tired of repeating myself: we didn't have a fight, nothing bad happened. We're in this together, Poe, and we're going to be okay."

He is loud and forceful by the end. He turns to find Poe sitting up and looking at him kind of funny. "Together," he says. "Do you mean, together as in . . . " He trails off, eyes begging Finn to tell him the truth, and Finn can't lie to him—or keep it from him—anymore.

"Yes," he says, tucking his hands into his pockets to keep from fidgeting. "If you're thinking together as in more than co-generals. Yes." He shrugs, feeling awkward and uncomfortable and hating it, because he shouldn't feel that way, but he still does. It's too strange, having to tell Poe that they are a couple because he doesn't remember anything about them.

"Huh," says Poe, still staring, but a crooked smile works its way across his face. "So we…what? Hooked up after a long day of chasing bad guys? Fell into bed after too much to drink?" He shakes his head. "How did we manage to get past our issues, we were so screwed up!"

Finn nods and BB-8 trills in agreement. "Yeah, we were, and yeah, I guess you could say it was a long day, though we weren't drunk." He pauses and smiles at Poe, remembering it fondly and wishing Poe did as well. "It was right after we got back from Exegol. Sitting on the ramp of the _Falcon_ watching everyone celebrate."

"Seriously?" Poe exclaims. "That soon? But Finn…" His faces falls. "That was three months ago for you. Have we been…well, together…ever since then?" When Finn nods, Poe looks devastated, but he motions Finn over and takes his hand. "I am so sorry," he says, his voice shaky. "I had no idea, and you've…you've been dealing with this ever since I woke up, all on your own, when I should be…I should remember!"

"Poe, it's not your fault," Finn tells him. "I understand—I was there, I saw what happened!"

"But you didn't know when I woke up that I wouldn't remember you," Poe says quietly. He frowns. "Why didn't you tell me right away? Is it some big secret? Only I think everybody else knows, since no one would tell me, not even BB-8. Why didn't you say something?"

Finn drops his hand and sits on the edge of the bed, close but not too close. "It was obvious that you didn't remember, and I didn't want to put pressure on you to do something…or feel something…you didn't. I know how wrong that kind of pressure is because that's how I grew up—with the First Order constantly telling me what to think, what to do, what to feel. I couldn't do that to you."

"Now who's being self-sacrificing?" Poe murmurs.

"I'm trying to do the right thing," Finn tells him, feeling defensive. "And it hasn't been easy, so please don't give me a hard time about it, okay? I'm still hoping you'll get some of your memory back, and if not…" He trails off, because he's hasn't thought about how to move forward if Poe doesn't remember their relationship—or doesn't want one anymore. "Then I don't know. It's different now."

Poe shakes his head. "It's not as different as you think. If we started this right after Exegol, then I am already most of the way there, you know." He looks down at his hands before meeting Finn's eyes. "I care about you, Finn. I have for a while. You must know that."

Finn smiles. "You said it was why you were acting so weird when we were looking for the Wayfinder."

"I can be jealous bastard, I admit it," Poe says, and Finn bursts out laughing.

"That's _exactly_ what you said three months ago!"

"See, at least I'm consistent." Poe grins with him. They settle into a short silence—not uncomfortable, but Finn doesn't know what to do with it, not anymore.

"Look," he finally says. "I didn't know what I was doing before—relationships were definitely not a thing in the First Order—and I haven't got a clue now. I feel like anything I say could be taken wrong—as me manipulating you into something you may not want anymore."

"I trust you," Poe says, nothing but sincerity in his voice. "I know you wouldn't do that. And was I getting ready to break it off before I was attacked?"

"I don't think so," Finn says. "You never said so, and I never sensed anything." He thinks of some of their last nights together and smiles. "It was good, really good."

"Then if I wanted this when we got back from Exegol, and I still wanted it three days ago, isn't it reasonable to assume I'd want it now?" When Finn doesn't answer, Poe gives a little huff. "Because I do, and you're going to have to trust me, that I'm making my own decisions based on what I want—just like I did the first time. Come here."

"I am here," Finn says, and Poe rolls his eyes.

"Closer," he says. "Please."

Finn moves up the bed, not sure what to expect. "Hands?" Poe asks, and takes Finn's hands, then pulls him forward, so that Finn almost falls into him. He wraps his arms around Finn, holding him tight, his face pressed into Finn's neck, like their first embrace after Exegol. Finn tenses, but Poe rubs his back, whispers in his ear, and he slowly relaxes.

It feels unbelievably good to be back in Poe's arms again, touching him and feeling his heart beat. So good that Finn presses a kiss to Poe's jaw, before he realizes what he's done and freezes.

Poe leans back, laughing silently. "I'm not going to slap you," he teases.

"I hope not," Finn murmurs. He's so close to Poe's face, to his lips, that it is almost impossible to resist leaning forward to kiss him, but somehow Finn does: he starts to move away, until Poe places his hand behind Finn's head, pulling him forward to press his lips against Finn's, quick and gentle. And it almost as good as the first time they kissed, on the ramp of the _Falcon,_ celebrating their victory. Then, the look on Poe's face had been almost terrified, but now he looks more nervous, unsure yet hopeful. Finn sits back as BB-8 whistles softly from the floor.

"You're amazing," Finn says. "But you should get some rest."

"What? After that?" Poe says. "No way, I want a proper second first kiss, I want—"

Finn takes Poe's face in his hands and kisses him with all the pent-up frustration, desire, and need of the last several days. He pours everything he can into it, so that Poe knows how Finn feels without him saying it—it's definitely too soon for that. He explores Poe's mouth as if it is as new as the first time; in some ways, it is new, especially for Poe. And from the way Poe kisses him back, Finn thinks that maybe, just maybe, they will be okay. He'd said it to help Poe, but he hadn't believed it until that moment.

"That's more like it," Poe murmurs when they break apart. His eyes are wide as he trails his fingers along Finn's jaw, down his neck. "Wow." He clears his throat. "Three months of that, huh? When can I catch up on the rest?"

Finn laughs, can't stop laughing at Poe's irrepressible spirit. It is a relief to know that yes, Poe does want this again, though Finn still wants to take it slow, to be sure he's not inadvertently pressuring the other man. There's so much Poe has forgotten from the last three months, and though it hurts, Finn allows himself to think about making new memories with Poe. It's not the end of what they had, but another beginning.

"You said you were tired," Finn tells him, moving away and back to his chair. "You should sleep. We'll have plenty of time for more when you're up to it."

"Oh, you keep kissing me and I'll definitely be up for it," Poe tells him.

"You're impossible," Finn says. "Get some rest. I'll be here."

Poe smiles as he lays down. He does look tired, and no matter how much Finn might want to keep kissing him, Poe needs to sleep. "Join me?" Poe suggests, though his eyes are already half closed.

"Uh, as much as I want to," Finn tells him honestly, "it's probably too soon."

"Then you should go back to your room," Poe murmurs. "Sleep in a real bed. I'll be fine."

"No way," Finn repeats, and leans forward to squeeze his hand. "I'll be right here if you need anything."

Poe smiles. "Thank you," he says after a moment. "For telling me."

"Thank you for not slapping me," Finn jokes, but Poe shakes his head.

"Never could," he murmurs, his eyes closing. "I'm lucky to have you."

He drifts off almost immediately, and Finn stands to press a kiss to his forehead. "And I'm lucky to have you back," he whispers, before settling into his chair, content for the first time in days.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope that Finn's confession lived up, I didn't want to drag it out too long, after all. Poe gets to leave the medcenter in the next chapter, but things start to happen. It flips back to his point of view and will be up this weekend, with the story wrapping up next week! Thanks again!


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Poe wakes up slowly and opens his eyes to find Finn sitting in his chair, watching him. Poe raises an eyebrow. "Who's watching someone sleep now?" he says. "Didn't you already do that for three days?"

"Yeah, well, you've been asleep forever, there wasn't much else to do," says Finn, but he smiles. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Poe sits up, rolls his shoulders and stretches his neck. He frowns as he remembers strange dreams, filled with images he can only vaguely recall, but that leave him anxious, uncomfortable. Like something is coming.

"You all right?" asks Finn, standing and moving closer. "Should I call the healer?"

Poe shakes his head. "No, it's not that. Weird dreams. Can't even remember 'em, just the kind that leave you feeling even more tired, I guess." He glances around the room. "Where's BB-8?"

Finn seems to be studying him, as if gaging the truth of his words. "He's with Rey, waiting for you to wake up. Are you hungry?"

"Not really," Poe tells him. "Yesterday it all came back up. I think I want to hit the fresher and get ready to go, if that's okay."

"Of course it's okay," Finn replies. "I went back to the hotel and brought you some more clothes. Do you need any help?"

"I'll holler if I do," Poe tells him. He starts toward the fresher, but stops at the door. "Finn?" he asks, and the other man looks up. "Thank you."

"For what?"

Poe thinks about it, smiles, and shrugs. "For everything," he says, and ducks into the fresher. He takes his time; in spite of his words, he's strangely reluctant to leave the hospital. It feels safer, somehow. Here, he's just Poe Dameron, another injured patient trying to recover. As soon as he steps out, he will be General Dameron, leader of the Resistance, who's forgotten everything he's done as General since taking off from Ajan Kloss three months ago.

When he was growing up on Yavin IV, there were a number of Rebel veterans living in the new colony. One man, Jace Hartley, had been severely injured on Endor. He'd lost his right arm, ear, and eye in a hit from an AT-AT walker. Poe's dad looked out for him, but Hartley had been a prickly man for as long as Poe could remember, alone more often than not. A few years before his mother passed, Poe had been in the village with his dad, and they'd heard the news that Hartley had died; it wasn't until he was older that Poe learned the man had taken his own life, unable to live with the pain, trauma, and loneliness.

Poe doesn't want to end up like Hartley, angry and alone. He wasn't injured and he isn't in pain, but he feels like losing three months is something people might hold against him, something he may struggle with in a completely different way than if he was carrying physical scars of the attack. He feels unprepared for such a life, though he suspects no one ever is.

He doesn't think he'll end up alone after what Finn had said the night before, but Poe doesn't remember their relationship, has no real grounds for believing that Finn is going to stay by his side now that Poe has completely forgotten they were even together. For Poe, the war has barely ended and Finn is Force-sensitive: Finn could do anything now. He _should_ do something else, now that he's free of the First Order. He doesn't have to fight them anymore, he can live a normal life, train to be a Jedi.

He must be taking his time, for there is a knock on the door and Finn calling, "You all right in there or did you drown?" The words are light, but the tone is worried, and Poe stops the water and steps out, reassuring Finn he's fine and will be done soon. He dries off, dresses, and cleans his teeth, not bothering with shaving as he kind of likes the beard growing in, even if a lot of it is grey.

The healer is waiting for him when he comes out, and Poe holds back a groan. He's run through the same tests and questions as the day before and given the same advice to rest and see a therapist, and then he's allowed to check out. He gathers his things and leaves with Finn, only to find everyone from the Resistance who is still on Akiva waiting outside for him. Wedge Antilles and Norra Wexley are there as well, and it's all Poe can do to hold back the tears at seeing so many of his friends—his family, really—waiting for him. Maybe he'll be all right, after all.

Speaking of family, the first thing Wedge tells him is to comm his dad, as Kes is worried sick about him. Finn admits to coming him, and it makes Poe feel like he's missed out on something else, introducing his father to the man he's with. Poe has no idea how he's going to tell his dad he's forgotten the last three months of his life, including winning the war he's spent the last four years fighting. He suddenly wants to go back to Yavin IV more than anything, and nods, assuring Wedge he will call his dad that afternoon. BB-8 promises to remind him.

"Are you hungry yet?" Finn asks as they take a speeder back to the hotel with BB-8 and Rey. "Do you feel up for eating with the others, or do you want something sent to the room, or…" He trails off, leaving the decision in Poe's hands. He's not sure what he wants, though. As he gazes out at the city, he finds he's more uneasy than he should be, and he decides he needs to do something about it.

"I'm not hungry," he tells Finn. "Not yet. And this is gonna sound weird, but I think I want to talk to the woman who attacked me."

Finn exchanges a look with Rey, and Poe rolls his eyes at them. "Look, let's set some ground rules now that I'm out. I've forgotten the last three months of my life, but I can still see you and hear you, and every time you exchange one of those looks, I know something's going on. But you can't keep stuff from me," he says. "I need to know. And I need to talk to this woman. I think it's important."

"Okay," says Finn, and turns the speeder toward the detention center. He lets Chewbacca know where they're going through his wrist comm. "And we're not keeping anything from you," he adds. "We're just worried it might be too much." BB-8 offers an echoing trill of agreement.

"You don't have to worry," Poe tells him. "Keep me in the loop and I'll be fine." He turns to gaze out the window, the unsettled feeling in his gut growing. He doesn't think it's nerves, now that he's out of the hospital and back on the streets where he was attacked; he's always been able to get back in his ship after a hit, after all. It's more like a sense of anticipation, the feeling something is coming, that it isn't over. The woman who attacked him may be in custody, but the Sith have always returned.

"You're worried, too," Rey says softly from beside him. "Not scared, but worried."

"No, I'm not scared," Poe tells her. "But I don't think this is over. She didn't finish what she started, and we need to make sure she doesn't."

She takes his hand and squeezes. "We will." She rolls her eyes towards Finn and makes a funny face, waggling her eyebrows a few times, and Poe grins, clearly understanding the unspoken question. He nods, and she squeezes his hand again. "Good," she murmurs.

"You have no idea," he murmurs back. They burst out laughing, and Finn asks what's so funny, but that makes them laugh harder. Finn huffs as he takes them to the detention center, BB-8 glancing back and forth between him and Poe.

The Akivan authorities are reluctant to let Poe see the woman who attacked him. She's been given Force-suppressing drugs, and though she is conscious, she's still not cooperating. Poe tells them that they need to question her, that he is perfectly safe with Rey and Finn at his side. They show him to the cell, and for the first time, he sees the person responsible for taking away the last three months of his life.

The old woman is laying on her back in a plain cell, eyes closed, her chest barely rising and falling. Poe stares at her and tries to remember meeting her in the street, remember what she said or what she did to him, but there is nothing. Which doesn't bother him as much as all the other memories he is missing, and he feels a wave of bitter anger for what she took from him.

Without opening her eyes, she speaks. "Welcome, General Dameron." Her voice is low and scratchy, accented with vocal inflections he does not recognize.

"You have me at a disadvantage, knowing my name when I don't know yours," Poe replies as evenly as he can.

"I am Tulaitha," she says. "Welcome back, General Finn." She turns her head to the side and opens milky white eyes. "Jedi Skywalker."

Poe frowns, looks at Rey, wondering why the old woman is calling her that. Finn gives him a look that clearly says _I'll tell you later,_ and Poe certainly hopes so. He turns back to the invisible energy field caging her inside the tiny cell, where her hands are also bound together. She is wearing a grey jumpsuit and looks small, insignificant—but he can almost feel a malice in the air, and it makes him wary. BB-8 rolls behind him as if he can sense it as well.

"Why are you here?" Poe asks.

"This is my home," she replies. "Why are _you_ here, when it is not yours?"

"I came to help the people of Akiva," Poe says, even though he doesn't remember.

"Some of us do not want your help, Poe Dameron. You should have stayed away."

"Is that why you attacked us?" Poe demands, stepping closer. "Why you killed my friend?"

She does not answer, but stares at the ceiling with a small smile on her face.

"Are you Sith?" Rey asks. The old woman sits up, stands slowly, and hobbles over to the barrier. It takes everything in him to not step backward, but Poe stands his ground as Finn moves closer in support. He braces himself for whatever happens.

"I honor Sith beliefs, Sith teaching, yes." The old woman's eyes are blank, her white hair a wild halo around her head, but she is staring at Rey as if she can see her perfectly.

"Did you honor the Emperor?" Rey asks. "On Exegol?"

The old woman bares her teeth in a grin that makes Poe shudder. "I did."

"He's dead," Finn tells her. "Your emperor and all of his followers. They're gone."

"And you are proud of that," she replies, though she is not looking at Finn, but at Poe now. "Proud to slaughter of tens of thousands of lives."

"We were defending the galaxy against a fleet of ships that could destroy entire planets," Poe answers, trying to put some of his usual confidence into his voice. "That _did_ destroy an entire planet. Are you proud of that? Tens of thousands of innocent lives destroyed for no reason?"

"They died for a reason," she replies. "They deserved their fate."

"They weren't part of this fight," Poe tells her, thinking of Kijimi and all the lives snuffed out in an instant. "Every one of those beings on Exegol was." He pauses and tries again. "Why did you attack us in the street?" She does not answer. "Whatever you did when you attacked me and my friend, she died. She didn't deserve that."

"And I lost my family," she tells him. "Because of you, Poe Dameron. On Ilum, on Exegol. You. Your ship, your hands." She turns her back and walks away from him. "They did not deserve it either. You do. One day soon, you will lose more than your memories," she says. She lays back down, folds her hands over her stomach.

Rey cocks her head to the side. "How?" she asks. A ragged laugh echoes through the empty cell. Poe feels a strange pressure in his head, like the start of a massive migraine. He wonders if it's a side effect of the attack, or fatigue from being up and out for so long.

"Guard your mind, Jedi," Tulaitha whispers. "And the Generals."

"You will never touch them," Rey tells her. "You will never win." Poe can see the disgust on her face, tinged with fear but also determination. Somehow, she knows something they don't.

"What's going on?" Poe murmurs, turning away from the prisoner and rubbing his temple, hoping to relax the tension building in his head. BB-8 burbles in concern, but Poe waves him away, taking a deep breath and trying to set the pain aside

"I think she was trying to possess you," Rey says. "When she attacked you. I think she was trying to take over your mind."

"And when General Finn pushed me out, I took as much as I could with me," the old woman calls from her bed with a low, ragged chuckle. "Not the revenge I had hoped for, but it is a start."

Poe glances at Finn, who looks sickened at her words. Of course it's not his fault, he stopped her from doing something even worse. He grabs Finn's wrists, shakes him out of it. "Finn, don't listen to her. You saved my life. A few months is a small price to pay."

The old woman suddenly flies to the barrier. They are all so surprised that they step back with a gasp as the shield hisses and crackles; BB-8 falls over with a shrill whistle. Poe feels the pressure in his head grow and grimaces, tries to push it away, focus on what he's there for.

"Your debt is not paid yet, Poe Dameron. Beware."

"I owe you nothing," Poe grinds out. The pain flares in his head and he struggles to stand, to think straight. He needs to get out of there, lay down, rest some more before—

"You slaughtered my family, my people!" the old woman shouts, spittle flying from her lips in her anger and madness. "My _son._ I felt them die, and for each one of their souls, I will have my revenge." She steps back and raises her hand. "Beginning with the favorite son of your doomed Resistance."

Her hand closes in a fist and Poe collapses as if she's squeezed his heart into pieces. He hears Finn shout his name, hears Rey shout Finn's name, and the pressure in his head grows unbearable. He knows what's happening this time, though, and tries to fight back, keep her out, like he once tried with Kylo Ren. The pressure doubles and bursts into agony, thousands upon thousands of points of light exploding behind his eyes as someone cries out—is it him?—with pain and fear. He curls up in a ball and tries to protect himself from the onslaught, but she pushes hard and his mind is overwhelmed by thoughts of anger and loss and revenge—then darkness.

When he awakes, he is still laying on the floor, his head in Finn's lap and BB-8 frantic beside him. He glances up and sees the terror in Finn's face, can feel it vibrating right through him, and reaches out to grab Finn's hand, to assure him he is all right. "I'm okay," he gasps, then pats BB-8 with his other hand. "I'm okay. What happened?"

"She attacked you again," Finn replies. "Right through the barrier, the drugs—kriff, Poe, I thought I was going to lose you for sure this time." He squeezes Poe a little too tight, and he squirms, working his way out of Finn's arms to sit up.

"You stopped her," he says, more of a question than a statement. Finn shakes his head.

"Rey did," he tells him, and Poe looks around to find Rey at the barrier, watching the old woman, who is crumpled on the floor and unconscious. Poe stands shakily, walks over to her in spite of his droid squealing at him to stay away.

"What happened?" he asks again.

"She tried to break into your mind again," Rey says, then unexpectedly throws her arms around him. "I'm sorry, I should have sensed it sooner, that she was able to use the Force."

"It's not your fault," Poe tells her, and untangles himself. "I'm all right. What did you do?"

"I shielded you, and forced her out," Rey says, and does not explain any more. "She'll be awake soon, though. We should go before she tries again." She pauses. "They may need to give her more sedative. She's strong."

"We should go back to the medcenter," Finn says from where he is hovering close at Poe's elbow. "We'll tell them on the way out."

Poe shakes his head, then regrets it immediately. "No, I don't want to go to the medcenter. I'll go back to the hotel, lay down for a while, but not the medcenter. I don't want more tests." He tries for a crooked grin. "She didn't get anything this time. I even managed to hold her off for a few seconds."

Finn looks ready to argue, but Rey steps in. "Let's go back to the hotel, then," she says, and Poe gives her a grateful look.

Finn is about to say more when several Akivans rush in. Poe has no idea who any of them are, but Finn seems familiar with them, probably from having dealt with them for the last several days, and Poe steps back, letting the other man take charge. Leaning against the wall, Poe closes his eyes as the adrenaline surge from the attack recedes. He tries to forget the horrific feeling of Tulaitha rooting around in his head: of the pain exploding behind his eyes as her anger flowed through him, of losing control of his very being as she tried to take over his mind and body.

It's too much, too fast. For him, it was only a few days ago that he was picking up the intelligence from Boolio that the Emperor had returned at the head of a Sith fleet; now, three months later, he learns they won the war, but the Sith are still around, and determined to have their revenge. By possessing him—and then what? She takes all his memories until he is an empty husk? Or he remains a puppet, under Sith control? He sensed many things from Tulaitha, particularly her hatred for him, but he does not know what she is planning, and that scares him more than anything.

Glancing up, he sees Finn and Rey and feels a burst of fierce love for them both—as well as fear. He is dangerous, and not because he is Force-sensitive, but because he is _not._ For one of the first times in his life, Poe wishes more than anything he could feel and tap into the power that he knows surrounds them all, that he's believed in since he was a child playing under his family's Force tree. He's never wanted it before, content with his call to the stars, but now…he feels defenseless. A Sith witch has entered his mind twice, and he is powerless to stop her. He could be used against everyone—and everything—he cares about.

He can't imagine anything worse; maybe that is her goal.

Without a word, Poe leaves the room, rushing through the corridors and ignoring anyone who calls after him, including BB-8. Dashing through the lobby and out into the sun, he stops abruptly and takes deep, fast breaths. He shuts his eyes against the stars at the edge of his vision, fear clawing at his chest. This is not him, he doesn't panic—and yet he is. He starts walking, willing his feet to move. He thinks he hears Finn and Rey and BB-8 behind him, but ignores them and walks faster, then runs down the street, past a familiar-looking man in black, until he crashes straight into Wedge Antilles.

"Whoa!" exclaims Wedge, grabbing Poe's elbows and steadying him. "Slow down, kid."

"What are you doing here?" Poe asks, and his voice sounds wild. Myrra is a big city, and to run into Wedge now seems more than a coincidence.

"Chewbacca said you'd gone to the detention center instead of back to the hotel. Thought I'd see if I could help." He eyes Poe warily. "Need some help?"

"I don't know what I need," Poe says, his knees suddenly shaky as he reaches out for Wedge's arm to stay upright. "But I definitely need to get away from here."

Wedge puts his arm around Poe's shoulder to support him, and Poe leans into it. He suddenly wishes his father were here. He senses Wedge making motions behind his back, suspects it's Finn and Rey come out to check on him, and is infinitely glad when Wedge keeps walking, murmuring quietly.

"They'll meet us at the hotel," he says. "Want to walk or ride?"

"Walk," Poe says. Maybe it will do him some good, except—"You armed?"

Wedge sounds surprised. "Yes, why?"

"Because that crazy witch attacked me again. And I think there's more of them." He presses his hand to his temple. "Kriff, I hate getting hit by the Force."

Wedge swears and starts them toward the hotel. He is clearly keeping an eye out, and even comms Chewbacca to meet them outside. They walk quickly, but not so fast that Poe is out of breath. Instead, the further they walk without being attacked, the more he calms down, until he lets go of Wedge's arm.

"Better?" asks the older man, and Poe nods. They are almost to the hotel, and Poe can see Chewie at the doors. A part of him wants to run the rest of the way, but he forces himself to stay calm, keep walking. Chewie growls several questions at him.

"Yeah, I'm all right, pal," Poe tells him. "And so are Finn and Rey. When they get here, tell 'em I need a few minutes, okay? Thanks."

He pats Chewbacca on the shoulder as he enters the lobby of the hotel. Yet he stops and stares because he has no idea where to go: he doesn't remember ever being there.

"I don't know what room I'm in," he tells Wedge, hating the edge of panic he hears in his voice again. "And I don't remember the passcode."

Wedge talks to someone and finds out Poe's room, gets them in with no problem. The first thing Poe notices is that it's a suite: a large sitting room with a balcony, with a separate bedroom and fresher, all expensively decorated. He sees what must be his belongings strewn about, some things he recognizes, some that he does not; some look like they might belong to Finn. Walking into the bedroom, there is only one large bed, still perfectly made, and he wonders if they were sharing a room.

Wedge is waiting patiently, standing close to the door as if on guard. Poe sits down on an overstuffed sofa. "Thank you," he tells Wedge. "I'm glad I ran into you."

"I'm glad I ran into you, too," Wedge tells him. "You ready to talk about it?"

"Not sure what to say," Poe tells him, and then finds himself talking nonstop. Wedge sits down next to him, and he tells his former mentor about going to see the Sith woman in custody, what she said, how she attacked him again. Wedge's face goes pale when he hears what Poe has to say.

"Why aren't you back at the medcenter?" he demands. "You could be injured, you—"

"I'm fine," Poe assures him. "I remember everything. I even know why she hates me so much, it was like she wanted me to know."

"What?" Wedge exclaims. "You read her mind?"

"Of course not," Poe says. "I don't have that kind of power. Maybe she let me see things…her son died on Starkiller base. Someone else, maybe her grandson, died on the _Fulminatrix_. And the rest of her people died on Exegol." Poe shakes his head. "It's personal for her."

"Damn," Wedge says quietly. "We spend so much time fighting battles and mourning our own losses, it's easy to forget how many have died on the other side."

Poe glances up sharply. "They fought for the First Order. I don't regret what happened. They chose this, like we did. I'm sorry for their losses, it doesn't give them the right to claim revenge."

"No, it doesn't," Wedge says. "And I didn't mean it like that. Only sometimes it feels like it will never end, and if everyone keeps fighting—for revenge, for power—it never will. I'm sorry you've been dragged into it so deep."

"Again—it was my choice, all of it," says Poe. "And I'd do it again. But we have to figure out what she's planning now, and stop it. Because she's planning something. I know she is."

"We've got your back, Poe," Wedge tells him "And—" There is a whistle from his wrist comm, and he smiles. "It's Norra, she's heard something. I should probably fill her in before she comes storming in with half a squadron."

"Maybe we could use half a squadron," Poe jokes, then waves Wedge away. "Go ahead, I'll be fine now. Although, can I ask you one more thing?"

"Anything," Wedge tells him. Poe suddenly feels awkward, but goes for it.

"Did you know Finn and I were, well, together?" Wedge nods and smiles broadly, and Poe feels his face heat up. "Right. Well, obviously I didn't remember, but he finally told me last night, and I guess I'm wondering…are we sharing a room? And, uh… are we good together?"

Wedge stands up, crosses his hands over his chest and tries to look stern. "Poe Dameron, I can't believe you'd ask me that, but since you've forgotten, I'll tell you. You're brilliant together. I haven't seen you much since Exegol, but I saw how happy you were when you finally figured it out—Karè's words, not mine—and how happy you were when you arrived on Akiva. So, my advice?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't do anything to screw up the good thing you already have."

Poe stands up and joins him by the door. "Believe me, I'm trying not to, but I feel like the ground is constantly shifting beneath my feet. I don't know what I've been like these last few months, and I don't want to do anything that might freak him out, you know? Something I didn't do before, or maybe I'll forget to do something I already did, or—"

Wedge puts both hands on Poe's shoulders and squeezes tight. "You'll be fine. Trust in yourself, and trust Finn."

"I trust him completely," Poe replies.

"Then if you're unsure of anything, talk to him about it, okay?" Wedge grins before he turns to leave. "Because of course you're sharing a room!" He stops at the doorway. "I'm going to let Norra know everything's okay. Can I tell Finn and Rey the same?"

"Yes," Poe tells him. "I'm sure they're worried, so if you see them, please tell them I'm fine. And since it's Finn's room too, he can come up if he needs to."

"I'll tell them," Wedge says. "And I'll check on you later. If what you said about this woman is true, we need to keep our eyes open and be prepared."

"Yes, we do," Poe tells him, already thinking about it.

"You should talk to your dad as well, before he gets on _my_ case about you not calling him." Wedge gives him a look Poe remembers well from the Academy and nods.

"I'll comm him now. Thanks, Wedge."

Wedge gives him a quick pat on the shoulder before he leaves the room, and Poe goes to the window, stares out at the city. Somewhere, someone is plotting against them. He doesn't know what it is or when it will happen, but it will. And this time he is determined to fight back, because he doesn't want to lose any more than he already has.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *bites nails* Don't know why, but this one makes me nervous. I might chew my fingers off editing the next one. Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

Finn stands outside the door to his hotel room, the one he'd been sharing with Poe before Poe had ended up in the medcenter. It is _their_ room, they'd spent their first night on Akiva here, yet for some reason, Finn feels like an intruder walking in unannounced. He wants to, because someone needs to watch over Poe after he was attacked a second time. Yet he doesn't want Poe to be uncomfortable either. Maybe Poe _wants_ to be alone after what happened, maybe Rey should be the one to stay with him, maybe—

No. Finn needs to be there. He can stay in the sitting room while Poe rests. Still, he knocks instead of letting himself in.

Poe opens the door and gives Finn an amused look. It is better than the panic Finn had sensed when he'd run out on them, though Poe also appears tired, worried, and somewhat embarrassed. "Hi," Finn offers.

"Hi," says Poe, and he raises an eyebrow. "Er, don't you have a passcode? Since it's your room and all?"

"My room?" Finn repeats stupidly. "Oh, well, I do, but…uh…"

Poe opens the door and gestures him inside. BB-8 zooms in with Finn and starts trilling a dozen questions as Poe locks the door firmly behind them. "I'm fine, buddy, really. And you don't have to knock on your own door," he tells Finn. "Your stuff is here, it's your room, too."

"Right," says Finn. "But I don't have to stay here, I can…you know…find another room, or bunk with Rey. If you'd rather."

"Why would I rather you do that?" Poe asks. "We've shared quarters before."

"I know," Finn says, then shrugs self-consciously. "I'm just trying to do the right thing. How are you feeling?"

"Better," says Poe. "I commed my dad. It was good to talk to him."

"You look a bit wrecked," Finn tells him, BB-8 echoing his agreement.

"Thanks," Poe replies, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You two do know how to charm a guy."

"Sorry," Finn apologizes, unsure of how to tease after losing three months. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I can leave."

"You don't make me uncomfortable, Finn," Poe sighs, and sits down on the sofa, elbows resting on his knees. "I'm surprised you even want to talk to me after I ran off earlier."

"It's fine," Finn tells him. He'd talked to Wedge briefly before coming to see Poe, and knows that Poe needed some time and space. He's seen it before, and understands. They can be very similar in how they respond to setbacks.

"I'm still sorry," Poe tells him. "I didn't mean to…I don't know. Flip out on you." He rubs his face with his hands. "You've been amazing since I woke up, and I ran off and left you. Do you even want to stay?"

"I think someone should be here, but it doesn't have to be me."

Poe motions at the seat next to him, waits patiently for Finn to sit down. When he does, Poe leans toward him and lowers his voice. "I happen to like you the most, so I'm glad you're the one who's guarding me." BB-8 protests, and Poe rubs the little droid's dome fondly. "I like you just as much," he assures the astromech.

"I'm not guarding—" Finn protests, but Poe stops him.

"Of course you are," he says. He leans back, his face falling. "And I get it. She's got it in for me, and I'm vulnerable. I hate it, but…" He shrugs. "I don't want to be possessed, that's for sure. Or lose more of my memory. Although, I think remembering it is almost as bad as forgetting it even happened."

"Well, it's not going to happen again," Finn says, placing his hand on Poe's knee in reassurance. "I'm here, and BB-8, and I'm pretty sure Iolo's in the hallway, and Rey's a few rooms down, and—"

"Is she okay?" Poe interrupts. "Whatever she had to do to stop that woman, is she okay with it?"

"She's fine," Finn tells him. "She's way stronger than me, and she knows what she's doing. But she's worried, like the rest of us."

"Worried about me or worried there are more Sith here on Akiva?" Finn reluctantly admits to both, and Poe sighs. "There are definitely more of them, and they're not finished. We need to figure this out and stop whatever they've got planned." A yawn cracks his jaw, and he grins in embarrassment. "Although, I might need a nap first."

"Go ahead," Finn says. He waves toward the bedroom. "You lay down, I'll be right here. I can—"

"You can come with me," Poe says. He stands and holds out his hand. "You don't look so good yourself."

"Hey!"

"You've been sleeping in a chair for how many nights?" Poe asks, and BB-8 trills the answer. "Five nights in a row? Get up. You need a proper bed." He wiggles his fingers at Finn.

"Poe, I—"

"I'm fine, Finn," Poe tells him. "Remember when I said you have to trust me? You're not taking advantage of me if you come lay down for a few hours."

"That's not the part I'm worried about," Finn grumbles, but he takes Poe's hand. The other man squeezes his fingers and grins.

"Maybe that's the part I'm looking forward to," he says, and laughs when Finn's eyes go wide.

"No way," Finn tells him. "I don't think _I'm_ ready for that, and you just woke up with a big hole in your brain—"

"Hey, there's a gap in my memory, not a hole in my brain," Poe protests.

"—and you need to rest," Finn finishes. He ducks his head as his voice falls. "She almost got to you again."

Poe doesn't say anything as he leads them into the bedroom and shuts the door, murmuring something to BB-8 about keeping watch. He kicks off his boots and lays down on the bed and waits patiently for Finn to join him. Which he does, because how could he resist? He wants this as much as Poe does.

"But she didn't," Poe tells him as Finn lays down next to him. He rolls on his side, moves closer and kisses Finn's neck as he lays his hand on Finn's chest. "And I wish more than anything I remembered being with you, but I'm here now." Another kiss, as he moves to Finn's jaw. Poe's lips are as soft as Finn remembers, though the beard he's kept feels new and different.

"Poe," he starts, but then Poe's lips are on his, and his hand is caressing Finn's face. Finn turns to the side as his arm goes to Poe's waist almost on its own. It is so natural, so _good_ to be next to Poe, running his hand up and down the other man's back, feeling him shift on the bed to move even closer and press their bodies together.

"We shouldn't," Finn murmurs against Poe's lips, and Poe responds by kissing him again, harder and deeper and _more_ , and it takes Finn's breath away, to feel so much after so many days without. He wants so badly to have Poe moving against him, skin to skin, and yet he also wants to take it slow, because this, their entire relationship both physical and emotional, is all new to Poe. Finn knows exactly how he feels about it, but Poe can't possibly feel the same, and Finn doesn't want to screw up starting over. "We said we'd take it slow."

"You may have suggested it," Poe murmurs against his ear, punctuating it with a nip that sends shivers down Finn's spine. "But I'm not getting any younger."

"And you're not going to get better if you don't rest," Finn tells him, but his fingers are still tracing patterns down Poe's back, moving lower until they can sneak under his shirt and touch warm skin, trailing slowly up and down his spine. Poe groans and presses even closer to him, and oh, how Finn has missed this. He's been by Poe's side for days, waiting for him to wake up, to touch him. He wants to be selfish, but he can't. Poe needs heal, maybe he will even remember them being together, given time. Finn's hands still, and Poe pulls back with a questioning frown.

"We should stop," Finn says.

"Dammit, Finn," Poe says, his eyes bright. "I'm not broken, I'm a grown man and I can make up my own mind—"

"I know, I know," Finn says, rolling onto his back and letting his head fall to the pillow with a huff. "Believe me, I _know_. I just want to do the right thing." It's like a mantra now.

"This is the right thing," Poe tells him. The look on his face is earnest and heartbreaking. "Finn, I may not remember being with you the last three months, but somehow…it's like I can sense something's not there anymore. I miss it, even though I don't remember having it."

"I miss it too," Finn murmurs. "It was good."

"Then if we had something so good, you must know how I feel!" Poe exclaims. "This is not me waking up to learn we've been sleeping together for three months and feeling pressured to keep it going. This is me, in my X-wing as the power goes out over Exegol, thinking I'm never going to see you again, that I'll never get to tell you how much I care about you, how long I've wanted this—"

"Wait," Finn says, "What do you mean, how long?" That wasn't something they'd talked about. They'd sort of fallen into it after winning the biggest battle of their lives, and agreed it was something they both wanted to continue. And it was good, it was comfortable, and it was serious, as far as Finn was concerned. But Poe had never talked like this before. The look in his eyes…yes, Finn has seen that, but the words that go with it…he's never heard those before.

"Finn, I've loved you for months," Poe tells him. Finn's heart stutters in his chest, and he's pretty sure his mouth falls open. "Only we were fighting a war, and I didn't think you'd ever feel the same."

"What?" If Finn's voice is higher than usual, that's only because he's shocked. Poe loves him? Poe Dameron, leader of the Resistance, best pilot in the galaxy, one of his best friends and co-general? Finn's pretty sure he's been in love with Poe since before they first kissed, but like Poe—he didn't think the feeling was returned.

"Too soon?" Poe asks. "Were we not there yet and I jumped six months ahead?"

"Uh," Finn says. "Well, maybe? Only I am there, but I didn't think you were. Before…" He trails off with a wince. Poe traces his fingertip across Finn's forehead, kisses his frown away.

"Before I forgot everything?" he murmurs. "It's kind of a relief, knowing we figured it out, that we've been together since Exegol. I feel like I don't have to hold back, because I know what happens. Or already happened." He pauses, shakes his head. "Obviously, I don't know the half of it, but it seems like it works, that we're happy. You seem different, in a good way. But if I'm making a huge mistake here, then you have to stop me now—"

Finn pulls him down for a long kiss. "Are you sure you're not remembering?" he murmurs. "Because you're right, about all of it. We were amazing together, happy. I love you too, but I didn't know how to say it, or when, and then I thought I'd lost you. And then I did."

"You didn't lose me," Poe tell him. "I'm just a few months behind now. And I'm so sorry I don't remember any of it—our first kiss, our first date. Have we even had a date? Is that possible with our job?" Finn nods, wondering if he should recreate their first one for Poe, or plan something different. "But I'd really like to make new memories with you," Poe says. "If you don't mind an extra set."

"Mind?" Finn echoes. "We can make as many new memories as you want," he says, then yawns uncontrollably. "Maybe starting with that nap."

"Finnnnnn," Poe half whines, but he smiles and kisses Finn before settling down next to him with a yawn of his own. Finn turns on his side to face him. Another yawn cracks his jaw.

"Guess I'm more tired than I thought."

"See, I'm right again."

"You're impossible," Finn murmurs, though he smiles as he says it.

"You said that last night, too," Poe laughs. "But we both probably need some rest after everything that's happened. So why don't we see how we feel when we wake up, and maybe I can talk you into continuing then?"

Finn nods as he closes his eyes, more grounded than he's felt for days, and ready to face whatever comes next, knowing that Poe will be by his side.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I split chapter seven as it was getting exceptionally long. So this one might be short, but the next part, still in Finn's POV (and let me tell you, breaking the back-and-forth pattern hurts), is twice as long. So here's a nice little stand-alone scene (which I'm not as nervous about, except for one thing), both chapters are much easier to edit, and I get some more time to wrap up the ending. Win? Hopefully! Fun fact: I like posting on even numbered days (even if I don't always manage it), so I hope to have the next part edited by Tuesday! Thank you for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Finn!" Someone is calling his name, and not in the good way he was dreaming about. "Finn, wake up!" It's not Poe, but someone else who is in his room and worried.

"What's going on?" mutters Poe. His head is on Finn's shoulder, his hand resting over Finn's heart. He is frowning at someone standing next to the bed.

"Rey? How'd you get in?"

"BB-8 let me in," she says. "You need to wake up."

"You could knock first?" Finn grumbles. He sits up and straightens out his shirt, his hair. Poe sits up and looks like a hot mess; he runs a hand through his hair and it stands up even more. It tugs at Finn's heart a little, remembering other mornings where they woke up together.

"Please," says Rey. "I've walked in on far, far worse."

"I'm glad I don't remember that," Poe groans. "So why did you talk my droid into letting you in without knocking?"

When Rey doesn't answer right away, Finn glances up and sees her frown, senses her concern. "What is it?" he asks, standing quickly, tucking his shirt into his pants and looking for his boots.

"I don't know," she says. "But something is off…" She shakes her head, looks at Poe. "You should get up. I think something's coming. Something is going to happen."

Poe nods, stands slowly as if getting his bearings. "I'm starving," he announces.

"Seriously?" says Finn. "She says something's coming and you want to eat?"

"I'll fight better if I do," Poe says. He adjusts his clothes, somehow tames his hair, and stands straighter. Finn knows it's a forced bravado, but he appreciates it, even admires it a little.

"We'll see if we can find something," he says as he finds and pulls on his boots. He reaches out and feels that same sense of anticipation in the Force. A dark thought occurs to him. "Rey, what do we do if some crazy Sith tries to possess him again? Or one of us?"

"Shoot 'em," says Poe, and Rey nods in unexpected agreement.

"A distraction would be good," she says. "But also…when the Sith woman was attacking you at the detention center, I put up a sort of mental shield to protect you and push it away." She tilts her head at Poe. "You were fighting back, though," she says. "Do you remember?"

Poe looks surprised. "I thought it was a headache at first and kept trying to massage it away, but then I tried to push back at whatever it was she was doing." He shakes his head and his shoulders slump. "It obviously didn't work."

"Poe," Finn starts, but Rey interrupts him.

"It's not your fault," she tells him. "She was strong, and using the Dark Side. If she attacks again, think of something positive and good, something or someone you care about. Use that as a focus to draw all your energy into resisting and pushing back." She shrugs self-consciously. "It's not much, but it could at least buy you time until one of us can get there."

"I'll try," Poe says, sounding skeptical. "But I'd rather shoot first."

BB-8 comes rushing into the room then, trilling wildly. "Slow down, buddy," Poe tells him, kneeling beside the droid. "You're sure?"

Finn listens carefully and picks up most of what BB-8 is saying; it's not good. Poe stands up and looks from Rey to Finn, his face grim. "She's escaped. This is what Rey sensed. They'll be coming after us."

"Then we need to be ready," Finn says, and Poe nods. He turns to Rey, and Finn recognizes Poe's command face immediately.

"Rey, get everyone who's still here with us together downstairs. We need to know who and what we have, and we need plans for both defense and offense. Finn, you've been in contact with the Akivan authorities—call 'em. We're going to need backup, and they may want to have an evacuation plan in place for the area. I—" He stops, glances sheepishly at them both. "I should stop talking?" he suggests.

"No way," says Finn, and he can't help grinning, because this is the Poe he's grown to love over the last three months: the confident leader who's brought them so far from the Battle of Exegol. He may not remember doing it, but he's still that man.

"It's good to see you back in charge, General," Rey adds. "I'll get everyone downstairs."

"We'll be there in ten," Poe says, then waits for her to leave before turning back to Finn. "Sorry, you should probably be the one to—"

"To what?" Finn asks. "Do exactly what you're doing?"

Poe's confident façade cracks the slightest. "You'd probably do it better, since I'm sort of incapacitated now."

Finn strides over and puts his hand on Poe's shoulder. "You're not incapacitated in any way. You're leading, like you were meant to. Like you have been. And I'll be right there with you."

Poe nods, before wrapping his hand around the back of Finn's head and pulling him into a completely unexpected kiss. It is short, but passionate and intense, and when Poe steps back, he's smirking.

"I kind of wanted to do that before we left for Exegol," he says. "So from now on, I'm not going to miss my chance." Finn grins back.

Poe uses the fresher while Finn comms one of his contacts in the new government, who's aware of the escape and promises to send security forces. He's gathering as many things as he can think of—extra blasters, comms, a vibroknife—when Poe comes out, whistles at the small but powerful stash. He pulls on his boots and grabs a ration bar Finn managed to scrounge up as well as many weapons as he can, and they hurry downstairs with BB-8 beeping worriedly behind them.

Most of the Resistance members still on Akiva—two squadrons and a transport of various personnel—are gathered in a room off the main lobby. The room is large, a banquet or meeting room of some sort, with dozens and tables and chairs but no windows. Everyone is heavily armed, and there is a feeling of tense anticipation in the air. Rey hurries over with Rose and Chewbacca when she sees them.

"There are about forty of us, and I've let the hotel know what's happening," she says. "I tried reaching out through the Force, only there's nothing but that same sense of something coming." She shakes her head and frowns again.

Poe raises an eyebrow. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she says. "It's like something is hidden from me."

"If they're Sith, could they be hiding from the Force?" Poe asks. "Cloaking themselves somehow?"

"I don't know," Rey says with a helpless shrug.

"Maybe it's like that thing you do with the mind trick, only they make people think they're not there," Finn offers. He hopes that's not the case, because it will make it much harder to fight the enemy if they can't see them.

"Look, we know this woman escaped," Poe starts, "and I know from personal experience that she's got it in for me. All of us. They won't give up now, we can all feel it. They're coming after us, and we need to be ready—they could attack here or somewhere else. It could be anything, anywhere." He looks to Finn, and even without the past three months between them, Finn knows that look. He nods and calls the room closer.

"All right," Finn starts. "Here's the situation. The woman who attacked Poe is a member of the Sith, and she's escaped from detention. We think she wants revenge for Exegol, we think there are more of them, and we think they're coming after us." A low murmuring fills the room.

"How many?" asks Iolo Arana.

"We have no way of knowing, because they could be using the Force to cloak themselves," Finn tells him, and the murmuring grows until he silences it. "So we need to be prepared for anything: an attack here, an attack somewhere else. Hand to hand combat, blasters, swords, and possible Force-users. What are our resources?"

"Rey!" someone shouts, and there is a smattering of nervous laughter that makes Rey duck her head. Finn quiets them down as Poe murmurs something reassuring to her. They take serious stock of their people, their weapons, their abilities. They talk about defending their position, as well as how to coordinate an offensive attack if the Sith strike elsewhere. Something tingles in the back of Finn's mind, something they are missing. He steps back and motions to Poe as he tries to remember. It's important.

"We've contacted the Akivans," Poe steps in. "They're looking for her and they're sending backup. But until she's in custody and this is completely over _,_ we need to be ready to do whatever we have to do."

"So we sit around and what?" asks Jess. "Twiddle our thumbs until they decide to make a move?"

"We're not starting another sabaac tournament, Pava," Poe tells her with a grin. Finn rolls his eyes and tries to give her a real answer.

"We're not going to sit around and bite our nails either, but we—"

He is cut off by an explosion outside as the building shakes. Because they are the Resistance, no one screams, though there are a few gasps. Finn exchanges a look with Poe and they run to the door with Rey. There is chaos in the lobby of the hotel: the front of the building has collapsed, some sort of bomb taking out the main entrance. A smaller explosion echoes nearby, and Finn suspects—he knows—they've taken out another door. They're trapping the Resistance inside.

Poe stares at the rubble; fortunately, it does not appear that there was anyone near the entrance. "That was fast," he says. "Although I don't know how they're going to get in if we can't get out."

Which is when Finn understands. "They're underground," he says, and starts pushing them back toward their room. He motions to anyone else in the lobby to join them.

"What's going on?" asks Rey.

"Poe said there are catacombs, tunnels under the city, remember?" Finn pulls the doors half shut. "Old droid factory, Hutt breeding? And possible Sith hideout? That's how they got here so fast—they were already in the tunnels. And that's why they blew up the exits, they're coming at us from _underground_."

Poe nods, looking both proud of Finn and worried. He turns to the room. "Heads up!" he shouts. "We've got guests, and they could be coming up from beneath us."

"What?" asks Rose, rushing to join them with Wedge Antilles and Norra Wexley. "How is that possible? How do you know?"

"I know," says Finn. He can feel something moving beneath them. Not literally, but through the Force, and Rey nods.

"Is the manager here?" Poe asks, and Rose waves toward an older Twi'lek female, armed with her own blaster and looking determined to defend her hotel. "There's a basement here, yeah?" he asks, and she nods. "What's directly under this room?"

"Geothermal heating," she tells him, and Poe frowns, looks to Finn.

"They can't come up right beneath us, then," Finn says. "They don't know we're all in here."

"They do if they're Force users," Poe points out.

The Twi'lek glances back and forth between them. "If they're coming in through the basement, they don't have to blow their way through the floor, they can fight their way up the stairs." She pauses, giving them a very pointed look. "And it'll be pretty easy since most of us are in here instead of out there."

Poe straightens up and nods. "Then maybe we should be out there and—"

There is another explosion beneath them, and the walls rattle. The sound of shouting drifts through the floor with the smell of smoke. The Twi'lek looks at Poe, raises an eyebrow, and hefts her gun.

"—and pick 'em off as they come up," Poe finishes. Finn nods and turns back to the room.

"Red squadron, you're with us. Blue, you're with Rey and Chewie in here. Everyone else, split up—half with us, half in here. We're going to try and stop them on the stairs, but we fall back on our signal if there's too many of them."

"We'll be trapped," says Rose.

"We're trapped anyway," says Poe. "Better at ground level than six floors up. I'm not jumping."

"Good point," she says.

"I should come with you," Rey says quietly, urgently. "In case Tulaitha is there."

"I stopped her before," Finn tells her.

"Finn," she starts, and he knows what she's going to say—he's worried, too.

"It'll be fine. I'll think of something positive, something good."

"Finn, she's powerful," she tells him, and Poe nods in agreement.

"I'll do what I can," Finn tells them. "I'll shoot if I can't. Let's go."

"Good luck," says Rose, and they hurry through the double doors into the lobby. It is filled with dust and rubble, and they track slowly toward the back, where two stairwells lead to the basement as well as the upper floors. Finn directs everyone to positions, but before they are ready, the doors fly open.

Fighters dressed in black and wearing scarves across their faces come pouring of the stairwells with a barrage of blaster fire that the Resistance returns. A dozen fighters on both sides go down before the blaster bolts are suddenly deflected into the lobby by some sort of invisible shield. The Resistance members scramble for better cover as glass shatters and wood splinters; C'ai Threnalli takes a hit in the leg and Jessika Pava drags him back toward their refuge.

"How are they doing that?" Poe shouts at Finn as he calls off the blasters. There is an eerie silence as both sides stop. "We can't get through and we're shooting ourselves if we keep trying."

"It's some kind of Force-shielding," Finn tells him, reaching out with his senses.

"So Tulaitha is here," Poe murmurs. Finn shakes his head.

"No, there's more than one Force-user."

"That's not good," says Poe.

"Really not good," echoes Finn.

"Any suggestions?" More Sith fighters continue coming up the stairwell, protected behind the shield covering them until they are ready to charge. They storm the lobby, and the fighting begins. It is almost too close and crowded for blasters and quickly devolves into hand-to-hand combat. Many of the Sith fighters carry other weapons, but the Resistance was never much for swords and clubs and find themselves fighting more defense than offense. With more and more fighters coming up from the basement, they will be quickly overwhelmed.

"I think we need to retreat," Finn shouts over his shoulder, picking off a fighter behind Iolo, and Poe looks at him in alarm.

"Already?" he asks. A lithe but untrained fighter attacks from behind, and Poe fights in that rough-and-tumble way he has, taking a few hits, but quickly taking her down. "Are you serious?"

Finn slams his fist into the stomach of the man he's fighting, then the man's jaw. The Sith drops like a rock, and Finn nods. "Too many of them," he says. "Especially with Force-users. Let's go!"

He whistles loudly and the Resistance fighters make their way back toward the banquet room where the rest of their forces are gathered. Poe catches a hand grenade from Iolo and lobs it toward one of the stairwells. He darts back as the explosion seals off at least one entrance. There are still too many Sith. Finn takes a deep breath, holds up his hand, and concentrates on projecting a shield of energy in front of him as the Resistance retreats behind him. He focuses on their safety, on his friends, and thinks he sees a faint glow. The Sith slow down and back away, so it must be working. He grins: he did it, and it didn't feel wrong.

They make it to the banquet room, stumble inside, and shut the doors. Rey hurries up to them and several Resistance members start piling tables in front of the door under Rose Tico's guidance. They've also blocked a back entrance to the room, and Finn nods in appreciation before turning to Poe.

"Now what?" he asks. "We're trapped, just like Rose said."

Poe massages his jaw where he took a hard hit. "Better than getting mowed down out there. I sure hope the Akivan security forces are outside. If we can hold them off in here and they can get through from outside, we should have a chance."

Which is when the first blow on the doors shakes the room, followed by another. Rey frowns, steps forward. "They're using the Force," she says, then turns to Finn. "How many?"

"Force-users?" he asks, and she nods. "I don't know, but there were at least two covering the stairways." She nods and steps up to the doors, raises her hands before them. Something pushes at the doors, and Rey presses back, bracing her right foot behind her. The muscles in her neck and arms stand out from the strain as the Sith hit it again, but she holds. Finn steps up next to her and reaches out to sense what she's doing, tries to copy it and lend her his strength. She smiles gratefully…until her eyes widen, and Finn, too, feels the change on the other side of the door.

The old witch has arrived, and with her full powers.

They can't hold it: the doors buckle, almost melt. The Resistance falls back again. Blaster bolts fly as the Sith fighters enter behind their Force-shields; Poe shouts to stop as they ricochet back, just as they did in the lobby. Rey, however, stands tall and finds the Force-users casting the shields. She sends them flying with a slash of her hand. The shields drop, and the Resistance attacks.

It all happens so fast that for a moment, they are able to push the Sith fighters out. But with a deafening roar, the walls on either side of the doors are pulled back into the lobby, and the Sith pour through in greater numbers. The old witch follows slowly, watching as the fight swirls around her, blaster bolts harmlessly bouncing off her.

Finn fights side by side with Poe, picking off fighters from their position until Poe suddenly cries out in pain and clutches his head. He falls to his knees, and Finn tries to cover him, but is sent toppling over a nearby table. Another Force-user; that's at least four now, maybe more. He is attacked by a blur from his left as a small but ferocious woman takes out a knife and jumps over the table, coming at him with a feral yell.

He stands but doesn't have time to shoot before she is on him and damn, she's fast and she's strong. Finn somehow manages to block her, thankful for his leather gauntlets even though he's pretty sure the comm is out now. She forces him away from Poe until he manages to grab the vibroknife strapped to his thigh and push forward on the offensive. They dance back and forth, narrowly avoiding another hand-to-hand fight and a dozen blaster bolts whizzing by.

Several things happen at once: Finn is distracted by a guttural moan from Poe and the woman with the knife gets in a slash across his upper arm that breaks the skin deep enough to sting. Yet before she can press the advantage, she is thrown halfway across the room and slams into another Sith fighter, both going down in a tangled heap against the wall. Finn glances wildly around to see Rey nod in acknowledgement. At the same moment, Poe screams loud enough to draw everyone's attention, throwing his arms out with a gasp and falling forward on his hands and knees. Halfway across the room, the Sith witch drops her outstretched hand and stumbles backward. She recovers quickly and stalks toward them, her face twisted with wrath.

"Rey!" Finn shouts, running over to help Poe stand up. Rey jumps in front of the witch and engages her in an invisible Force battle. Finn takes a quick moment to look over Poe: he's pale and breathing hard, but seems physically unharmed. He even takes up a second blaster from the holster on his hip and nods, ready to continue the fight.

"I love you," Finn tells him, hoping it's not the last time he ever says it. It's not looking good: there are so many Sith, and while most of them are untrained, they have several Force users, and the anger of their loss and thirst for revenge drives them fast and hard in the small space.

"I know," says Poe. He leans forward, stops and shoots something behind Finn, and then kisses him, fast but intense. There is slow clapping from nearby.

"Beautiful," drawls a man dressed in black: pants, tunic, boots. Like a mockery of the old Jedi. He's middle-aged, his hair short and dark but his beard gone gray. Piercing green eyes gaze at them with such hatred Finn almost takes a step back; instead, he moves closer to Poe, determined to protect him.

Chewbacca suddenly roars between them, locked in furious grasp with a man almost as tall as him. There is a terrible crunching sound and the Sith fighter collapses. Chewie turns on the man in black, bellowing at Finn and Poe to stop staring and get back to fighting as he presses his new opponent back.

"I've seen that man before," says Poe. "On the street."

Finn recognizes the man in black as well. He was at the medcenter, in the cafeteria when they were eating. It sends a chill down his spine, knowing the enemy was so close. It also makes him even more determined to defeat them. Poe seems to agree, and they throw themselves back into the fight.

The room is hot and crowded. There are overturned tables and chairs scattered everywhere, debris falling from the walls and ceilings, a small fire in the corner. The sounds of fighting, of blasters and knives, of the injured and dying fill the air. Poe shoots two more fighters; Finn throws one of them into the wall when they refuse to go down. The Twi'lek manager shoots someone off their back and offers a jaunty salute.

Someone shouts Poe's name—Jess, cornered by two fighters, barely holding on with a bloody cut dripping into her eyes. Poe runs toward her at the same time as Iolo, and they take out both fighters as Jess falls to her knees, breathing heavily. "Stay with her!" Poe shouts to Iolo before turning back to the room. Finn is with Rose now, moving toward Chewbacca as he struggles with his black-clad opponent.

Rey is still fighting the old witch. Finn can't tell what they are doing, exactly, but he can almost see it through the Force: sharp attacks and invisible blocks as they parry energy that crackles in the air around them. Rey is not using her lightsaber, but her hands and the Force; Finn can feel the power surging through the room.

And then Chewie falls, and the man in black turns toward Rey. He Force-slams Rose out of the way, blocks Finn's shot with an outstretched hand and flings the weapon across the room. He raises a gloved hand toward Rey, but she is locked in combat with the old woman and does not see him.

"No!" Finn shouts, and gathers the Force around him. He has to do something, has to stop this man from killing Rey, from hurting the people he cares about. He raises his hand and feels the power at his fingertips like he did the night Poe was hurt—and hesitates, because this time it feels wrong. Before he can do anything—he doesn't even know what he's going to do—two shots hit the man and he staggers backward. Poe steps up next to Finn, his weapon raised.

"Stay with the Light, Finn," he murmurs. Finn nods and raises his backup blaster. As he starts to pull the trigger, Poe shouts and falls, clutching his left arm. Finn whirls to his left and takes out the Sith fighter with a single shot to the head. But it gives the man in black enough time to turn toward them, raise his right hand, and shout in the same language Finn heard the night Poe was attacked. The man's hands glow with the power of the Force.

Finn acts on instinct, jumping in front of Poe with his arms raised, but it is nothing like what happened on the street that night. Finn doesn't have the power to repel this. Force lightning crashes into him, agonizing pain searing through every muscle. He slams into the wall behind him and falls to the ground, convulsing in agony. The man in black moves closer.

"The traitor saves the murderer again," he says, and another blast of Force lightning slams into Finn, sending him into more convulsions and ripping a primal scream from his throat. He thinks he hears Rey shouting for him, but he shakes his head…she can't save him, she has to stop the old woman and save them all. She has to save Poe…

"And now the traitor dies as well," the man shouts, and he raises his hand once more. The air crackles around him as Finn tries desperately to sit up, to move, to do _something,_ but he feels the darkness pulling at the edges of his consciousness. He's not going to make it, he's going to die here in a goddamn hotel lobby at the hands of a madman. He won't get to see Poe again, or train with Rey, or stop the Sith from having their revenge. He takes a ragged breath and tries to project a shield before the energy bolts race toward him, but they never come.

The man in black stops, his mouth working soundlessly as the blazing yellow fire of a lightsaber protrudes from his chest. He slides off the blade with a sizzling pop, falling limply to the ground. But Finn must be hallucinating, because standing there wielding the weapon, clutching his arm in pain and eyes wide in shock, is Poe.

Finn's last thought before he loses consciousness is to wonder how the hell Poe ended up with a lightsaber before him.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this killed me dead.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Poe fights side by side with Finn, picking off Sith together from their position. Until he suddenly feels the vice grip of the Force witch in his mind. He falls to his knees, clutching his head with a groan. Finn tries to cover him, but is sent flying over a nearby table; a Sith soldier attacks him with a knife before he can barely rise.

"Finn," Poe gasps. He has to stand up, has to keeping fighting and help Finn. But the Sith witch is in his head, rooting through his memories. He can sense her hatred and fury over the loss of her child, her family, and the thousands of Sith who died on Exegol. It would be so easy to give in to the pain, to let it wash him into unconsciousness, but out of the corner of his eye he sees Finn still struggling with his attacker, knives flashing. Poe concentrates on the one thing he cares about more than anything: Finn, safe and alive.

He hears Finn grunt as the knife must pierce skin. At the same time, he hears the old woman laughing in his mind. She's found the memory of his kiss with Finn at the medcenter. He will not let her have it. She is not going to take Finn from him a second time. He tries to do what Rey told him, focus all of his love into resisting, into pushing her away from that sacred memory. He shouts his defiance and throws out his arms as if he can physically cast her out. Somehow, it works: she is gone from his mind, stumbling backward on the other side of the room.

Rey turns to face the witch, protecting him as she did at the detention center. Then Finn is there, helping him stand. Poe takes several deep breaths, clears his mind of the witch's anger and hatred. He still has all his memories, including of Finn. Taking out his second blaster, Poe nods in encouragement: he's ready to continue the fight. This can't keep happening; they must win.

"I love you," Finn says, and Poe's heart almost stops in his chest for completely different reasons. But he recovers quickly—there's still a battle all around them, after all, so there's no time for mooning—and steps closer.

"I know," he says, grinning broadly. He leans forward, fulling intending to kiss Finn, but stops and shoots a screaming soldier behind them first. Satisfied it's safe, he kisses Finn, hard and fast and perfect. There is clapping from nearby.

"Beautiful," drawls a man dressed in black. He's older than Poe, his hair dark but his beard gone gray, sharp green eyes filled with loathing. He thinks he recognizes the man, but Chewbacca suddenly staggers by, battling furiously with a large Sith opponent. After putting the man down with a horrible snapping sound, he roars at them to move and turns to engage the man in black.

"I've seen that man before," Poe tells Finn. "On the street." He takes a closer look as the man spars with Chewie, and remembers the man from the medcenter as well, glaring at them while they talked and laughed the other night. He does not know who this man is, but he is clearly strong, powerful, and driven by the same hatred as Tulaitha.

He will not win; _they_ will not win. Poe motions to Finn and they rejoin the fight.

It's grows harder to concentrate as blaster bolts fly by, as debris from the ceiling falls, as the shouting and yelling and moaning grows louder and louder. Poe is hot, tired, and ready to end this. He's been attacked by the Force twice in one day and is struggling to stay upright as his adrenaline wanes and chaos swirls around him. He shoots another Sith, but Finn has to finish the man off.

Crouching to catch his breath, Poe hears Jess calling for help. She's holding back two Sith at once, blood trickling down her face. Poe jumps up and runs toward her at the same time Iolo moves in from the other side. He shoots one man and Iolo takes the other, and Jess falls to her knees, exhausted and relieved. After making sure she's all right, Poe tells Iolo to stay with her before turning back to the room. Rey is still fighting the old witch, and Finn is with Rose, moving toward Chewbacca and the man in black.

Poe watches in horror as Chewie falls to the floor. The man in black turns toward Rey as Finn and Rose rush to stop him. But he throws Rose across the room as easy as tossing aside a rag doll, then blocks Finn's blaster shot and flings the weapon away. Rey is focused on the old woman and does not see the threat from behind her as he raises his hand.

"No!" Finn shouts, his voice filled with terror. Somehow, Poe knows what he has to do. He can't let Finn use the Force with anger or fear and touch the Dark Side. He's already doubting himself, and Poe can see it in the slight hesitation as Finn holds up his hand but stops. It gives Poe the chance he needs to raise his blaster, aim, and fire. He hits the man twice and steps up next to Finn.

"Stay with the Light, Finn," he murmurs. Finn nods and raises his second weapon. Which is when Poe feels the familiar sting of a blaster hit his left arm and falls to his side. Finn reacts instantly and hits the Sith soldier with a single shot to the head. But before he can turn back, the man in black raises his hand and shouts. Poe braces himself for whatever is coming.

It never happens: Finn jumps in front of Poe and is blasted backward by searing bolts of lightning coming from the tips of the man's fingers. He can't stop it and hits the wall hard, falling to the floor and seizing in agony. The man in black moves closer.

"The traitor saves the murderer again," he says. More lightning courses into Finn, leaving him screaming and convulsing in pain. It is the most horrible thing Poe has ever seen. Struggling to his feet, Poe hears Rey shouting Finn's name, hears Finn screaming in pain, and it breaks his heart. He stands, looks around for his weapon.

"Poe!" Rey yells, and she is holding her lightsaber aloft. He nods, and she throws it straight to him; she must be guiding it with the Force. The witch hits her, and Rey doubles over in pain. Poe is on his own; he will save Finn, or die trying.

"And now the traitor dies as well!" The man in black raises his hand once more as Finn tries to move, but Poe can see how weak he is. This man is determined to kill Finn, and Poe will not allow that to happen. He looks at the weapon in his hand, hits the button that activates the yellow blade. He takes three steps forward and rams it into the man's back with a feral shout of anger.

There is no more lighting. Finn is safe. The man slides off the saber and collapses at Poe's feet. Poe stands over him and watches the light leave the man's eyes. Only then does he deactivate Rey's saber and kneel before Finn. He's barely conscious.

"Hang on, buddy," Poe says, putting everything he can into sounding a lot calmer than he feels. Finn's vest is charred and smoking; he is bruised and bloody and his breathing is slow and shallow. "We got this, and I've got you. You have to stay with me, all right? Do you hear me?"

Finn's eyes flicker open, he nods, and then they close. Poe swears under his breath. But it's not over yet. "Poe!" Rose shouts. She is not far, crouching behind a table with one of the other pilots not down and out yet. "It's Rey!" she shouts, and motions wildly to where Rey is still facing the old woman. Only it is clearly a battle within now, as neither of them move, eyes locked on one another as the fight continues around them. The witch is breaking into Rey's mind.

"Push her out, Rey!" Poe shouts. "Finn's all right. Now finish her off!" He starts toward her with the lightsaber. Rey seems to take strength from his encouragement and takes a slow step forward, then another. The old witch holds up her hands, but Rey balls her hands into fists and pushes out, forcing the witch from her mind. Both of them stuble. Tulaitha raises her right hand.

"Rey, take it!" Poe shouts, and he tosses the saber end over end to her. She plucks it easily from the air and ignites it, blocking the Force lighting the Sith witch throws at her. The witch is clearly weakened, and Rey deflects each attempt, pressing her advantage until the blade is at the woman's throat.

"It's over," she says. "Surrender."

"It is never over. The Sith are forever," she hisses. "You are the last of the Jedi."

"I am the first of Jedi," Rey tell hers. "Surrender."

The woman laughs, raises her hands. Force lighting erupts from both fingertips. Rey steps back and deflects it once again, but this time it hits the Sith witch, as if she is drawing it in herself. She flings her arms up with a triumphant shout—and explodes.

The blast expands out from where she stood. There is no blood, no body, no fire or heat—nothing but a sharp discharge of cold energy that knocks over everyone and everything in its path. It is deafening, filled with the sound of her scream, and Poe finds himself on his back in a fog, sounds distorted around him as he struggles to stand.

Rey is there, helping him up, her lips moving. He tells her he can't hear anything; she frowns and shakes her head, her lips clearly saying, "I can't hear you!" Around him others are rising, including the Sith fighters. Poe shouts to his people to set their weapons to stun and hit the Sith before they can get up. Most probably can't hear him, but as he starts to move back to Finn, stunning anyone trying to move or shoot back, they seem to understand.

Some of the Sith begin to retreat, as if the loss of their two strongest Force-users has left them leaderless and confused. Poe wonders if they should give chase, but there's probably not enough Resistance members who are uninjured to pursue them safely. He spots the Twi'lek manager nearby, beckons her over to see if she has any way of contacting someone outside. She seems to understand him, nods, and hurries off. Poe kneels, then sits in exhaustion, next to Finn.

He's still unconscious, but breathing much better now. Poe glances around for Rey only to find her right beside him, reaching out toward Finn.

"Is he okay?" she asks. Poe can hear her now and tries to reassure her.

"He took a full blast of that lightning for me," he says. "But he's alive, breathing, pulse is strong. I think he's gonna feel like hell when he wakes up, though."

She laughs slightly hysterically. "Yes, I did after Exegol."

"You really have to tell me that story sometime," Poe says.

"I will," she promises. "After this one is over."

Poe glances around: the fighting is done. A few Sith have surrendered; most have fled or are unconscious. The Resistance are catching their breath and beginning to tend the wounded. Poe looks back to Finn. "I think we're almost there," he says. "Is there anything you can do for Finn? You know, with your—" He waves his hand in the air, wiggles his fingers. "I remember you doing something like that for a big snake."

She nods. "I can do a little, but it's not the same now. Since Exegol."

"Oh." Poe frowns, touches her arm. "I'm sorry. It must have been bad."

"Well," she says, glancing around before smiling at him. "I really hope this is the last of the Sith we see for a very long time."

"Are you sure you're all right?" he asks, taking her hand as she places it on Finn's arm. "Don't share something you can't afford to share right now."

"I'm okay," she says, but sits back and waits. "She was strong, but not as strong as the Emperor."

"What happened at the end?" Poe asks. "When she, you know— _boom_!"

Rey shakes her head. "I don't know. I didn't try to hit her, I didn't want to kill her. I think she pulled the Force-lightning in to kill herself. To create that explosion."

"I'm really glad it wasn't more messy," Poe says, knowing it's an utterly ridiculous thing to say, but meaning it nonetheless. Rey lets her head drop to his shoulder and starts shaking. Soon she's giggling uncontrollably, then laughing outright. Poe joins her, which is when Finn cracks open his eyes and stares at them.

"I'm trying to sleep," he mutters. "Did we win?"

"We won," Poe tells him. "Rey blew up the old lady."

"I did not!" she protests, which sends them both into more uncontrollable fits of laughter. Finn groans.

"I must be dead if you two are actually getting along."

"We get along," Poe protests. "Don't we?"

"I let you use my lightsaber," she says. "So yes, we get along."

"Thanks for that," Finn says. "That was an insane move. Both of you."

Poe thinks back to catching the saber and slamming it through another man's chest to save Finn. He'd do it again, to save Finn—and has to admit, Rey's lightsaber is amazing.

"All right, one of needs to go be a general," Poe says, then tries to stand and fails. "So you'd better get out there." Finn laughs, but it quickly turns into a cough.

"Sorry, I'm going to lie here for a while until my muscles don't feel like they're seized up." Rey moves toward him, holding her hand out again, but Finn shakes his head. "No way, Poe got shot. Help him."

"I'm fine," Poe tells her, but she holds her hand over his arm, and although it doesn't heal completely, the burning pain lessens, and he nods to tell her it's enough. She does the same for Finn—Poe can see the other man relax—then turns back to Poe.

"Go be a general," she tells him. "I'll stay with Finn."

"What?" says Finn. "I feel better now—" But when he tries to sit, he falls right back down with a groan, and Poe can see the muscles in his stomach tightening. "Nope, I'll wait here."

"You wait here," Poe echoes with a smile. He leans over and presses a kiss to Finn's forehead, then his lips. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Poe stands and moves off, checking on their people. Iolo is still with Jess, and Rose is bandaging Chewbacca's leg, and C'ai is limping around collecting weapons with several others. The Twi'lek manager hurries over and tells her the Akivan security forces are in the tunnels beneath them rounding up the Sith who fled and will be there soon to help with injuries and prisoners.

The lobby of the hotel is completely destroyed. Looking back toward the room where they fought, Poe sees nothing but piles of debris where the walls came down, tables and chairs and bodies everywhere, with scorch marks littering the walls still standing. It is a testament to the strength of their people that they've survived such a quick, concentrated assault. He feels like he could sleep for days.

Instead, he goes back to Finn and waits for the Akivans to arrive. They've won. Poe is highly aware, however, that there will always be others out there, waiting to attack: for power, for revenge, for no reason at all. But for now, it's done, and he can concentrate on starting over with Finn. Sometimes the end of one thing is the beginning of another. For them, it's a second chance, and Poe will cherish every new memory they make together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short epilogue to follow, hopefully by Monday. Thank you for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Poe watches and dozes and shakes himself awake, determined to be alert when Finn wakes up. Although it's only been a few hours since Poe woke up himself, it's getting harder and harder to stay upright and not crawl into bed with Finn. Yet Poe is not leaving that chair until the other man wakes up; he owes it to Finn, and wants to see him smile more than anything.

The healer said Finn would recover completely, but Poe can't help being worried. He finally has everything he wants—the war is over, Finn is still by his side, and they both admitted their feelings—and he doesn't want to lose what he's found. Or lost and then found. He can't pick up where they left off, but he can start over and make new memories with Finn.

He hopes Finn still wants to be with him. What if he gets tired of telling Poe about the last three months, tired of remembering things that Poe will never get back? What if he decides to learn more about the Force after his experience with the Dark Side on Akiva? Poe would be devastated if Finn decided he no longer wanted to be together; he would be crippled if Finn gave up his role as general. Of course, that's assuming that Poe remains a general.

Ransolm Casterfo had commed to tell them that somehow word of Poe's condition had got out, and a number of people—Senators, Navy officers, even a few journalists—were calling for him to step down. That his memory loss made him unfit to remain in command, as leader. Poe had been half expecting it, but it still a blow to his confidence, that there are many who no longer believe in him. He's not sure what to do: he thought he'd fight tooth and nail to stay, but now he wants to do what's best for everyone else, especially Finn.

Finn, who is still sleeping after taking a blast of Force lightning meant for Poe.

Poe will never forget the moment above Exegol when the lightning struck and every ship in their ragtag fleet began to fall. To see it again, and to see it hit Finn…Poe suspects he will have nightmares about it for a long time. Rey finally told him what happened to her on Exegol and he wonders if she has nightmares. A slightly hysterical part of him wonders if Finn will now, too.

Probably not, because Finn is stronger than him, than anyone he knows. That he's come out of this with little more than some bruising and a few burns, and an irregular heartbeat that the healer is confident will return to normal, is not a miracle, but proof of Finn's strength and resilience. And his natural ability: Poe is still in awe, after seeing what Finn can do with the Force. He will be an amazing Jedi.

"Stop thinking so loud," the subject of his thoughts mutters from the bed. Poe stands and moves closer, touches Finn's shoulder and waits for dark eyes to open. BB-8 rolls over and whistles hopefully.

"Welcome back," Poe says, and is rewarded with a roll of those beautiful eyes. Finn struggles to sit, and Poe helps him, a reversal of when he woke up a few days ago and Finn was there for him.

"Did I go somewhere?" Finn grumbles. A complete reversal—because Finn is actually a much grumpier patient than Poe. He won't admit it, but it's true, and Poe grins at the normalcy of it. He remembers this from long before Exegol, when Finn was one of Kalonia's worst patients after being hit by a blaster. Pilots hate being grounded, but Finn has nothing on the entire squadron all put together.

"A long trip to dreamland, buddy," Poe tells him. "The healer gave you something to sleep when you wouldn't stop talking."

"That's totally not what happened," Finn protests.

Poe pulls up the chair and laughs. "Well, it's pretty close. You were hurt, Finn. You don't have to lead from a hospital bed."

"You have," Finn points out. "And you were injured as well. Why aren't you in bed?"

Poe rolls his left arm a few times, tries not to grimace. "Good as new." BB-8 beeps his disagreement to Finn, who grins at the droid in solidarity.

"Liar," Finn says. "Rey didn't heal it completely and even bacta takes time. It bet it's sore as hell."

"And that's why I got the good drugs," Poe tells him cheerfully. "Lots to do since you decided to take the day off."

"Poe—"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Poe leans over and kisses him. It feels amazing to be able to do something he'd thought about before. Hopefully Finn doesn't mind—maybe they weren't very demonstrative before. Poe wonders if losing his memory is going to change the way he does simple things like showing affection, or if he'll do them same way he did the first time. "I still do that, right? Because I'm planning on it."

Finn smiles and nods. "Yeah, you do, but I'm still better at it." He takes Poe's hand and squeezes. Once again, his droid takes Finn's side, and Poe wags his finger at the astromech, who rolls in a circle as if laughing.

"How do you feel?" Poe asks seriously.

"Like I got hit by lightning," Finn tells him. "It sucks."

"That's why Rey said, too," Poe replies. "She said it took a while to feel normal."

"Well, what she went through was completely different," Finn says. "How do _you_ feel? Did you sleep? Please don't tell me you've been in that chair since we got here."

Poe shakes his head. "I slept. In a bed and everything. And I'm okay." Finn looks skeptical. "Honestly. No memory loss, a few bruises like you, and one hit to my left arm." He makes a face. "To me, it feels like I got shot on that Star Destroyer only a few days ago, and now I've got another blaster burn in the same place!"

"It's actually the third one," Finn laughs. "Your left arm is jinxed." He shakes his head. "So how did it end? I remember you said Rey blew up the old lady, but what really happened?"

"I wasn't kidding around. The old witch blew up," Poe tells him. "She tried to get into Rey's mind. Rey stopped her and that was when she brought out the Force lightning. There was quite a show in that banquet room yesterday." Poe hopes he never sees anything like it again. "I threw Rey the saber and she blocked it. She had Tulaitha cornered, but the witch blew herself up instead."

"Ew," says Finn. "Messy?

"Not at all. But very loud. After that it was over. They fled, or surrendered. The Akivans have several dozen prisoners."

"Who did we lose?" asks Finn quietly, and Poe sighs.

"We lost Harper and Ya'x," he tells him. "And a few serious injuries, including yourself. But honestly? We did pretty good against the odds." It's never easy to lose someone. Poe hates to console himself with the ones they didn't lose, but he can't help it. He doesn't know what he'd do if he lost Finn. Or Rey, or Jess, or any of the others who have been by his side for so long. He's so thankful, even as he mourns. Finn is silent for a long moment as well.

"What's next?" Finn finally asks. "When can I get out of here?"

"Well, they want you to spend another night. You've got an irregular heartbeat that they want to be sure is going to settle back down. They said you'll feel pretty tired until it does."

Finn nods. "Rey had the same thing. She was, and it did."

"I know, but let's be sure, okay?" says Poe. He brings Finn's hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the other man's fingers. He's not sure how it will be received since he's not even sure if they were a hand-holding kind of couple, but under the circumstances, it feels right. If he does things different this time around, Finn is just going to have to get used to it. Though he doesn't seem to mind as his face softens when Poe kisses him.

"Sap," he murmurs, and BB-8 beeps loudly in agreement, ruining the moment.

"If I wasn't before, I will be now," Poe admits.

"Why?" Finn asks. "What's different?"

"I don't want to lose this again," Poe says. "So if you're not sure you want sappy and sentimental, now's the time to bail." The words slip out, betraying his insecurities. His heart is pounding because _kriff_ , he hopes Finn hasn't changed his mind.

Finn rolls his eyes; Poe's pretty sure BB-8 rolls his photo-receptor.

"Poe, I don't understand why you're so nervous about this," he says. "Yesterday you said it was good to know that it worked out, that it was reassuring. Why are you unsure now?"

Poe releases Finn's hand and sits back a little, thinking on his response. "Yeah, it's kind of a contradiction, isn't it? Look, it is definitely reassuring to know we finally hooked up and made it three months. I guess the doubts creep in when I think about what I might be doing differently now. You liked what we had for three months, but what if you don't like what we have _now_? Especially if I'm different?"

"You don't seem any different to me," Finn points out. He glances up and ticks his points off his fingers. "Still reckless, still a smartass, still overworking, still—"

"Hey!" Poe exclaims, but he is grinning ruefully, because it's all true. BB-8 adds his own and Poe playfully pushes him away.

"—still a strong leader, still an excellent fighter, still a great kisser," Finn smirks at that one. "Also, incredibly sexy with a lightsaber."

Poe bursts out laughing, bending over and laughing so hard it almost hurts. Finn joins him, then motions him closer. And like Poe did—what? A day or two ago?—Finn pulls him down onto the bed and wraps his arms around Poe's waist, keeping him there.

"You liked the lightsaber, huh?" Poe murmurs, staring at Finn's lips and licking his own.

"Oh, you have no idea," Finn says. "I mean, I was also delusional with pain, but it was pretty damn amazing." He kisses Poe, a short, gentle kiss. "Thank you."

Poe kisses him back, longer this time. "You're welcome," he murmurs. "But I should be thanking you, for taking that blast. You saved my life."

Finn runs a hand through Poe's hair. "And you saved mine. In more ways than one."

Poe's heart skips a beat as they kiss long and deep. "You saved me first," he murmurs against Finn's lips. "A long time ago."

"Best decision I ever made," Finn murmurs back. They kiss leisurely for a while, until Poe grows somewhat tired of leaning over. He pulls back, nudges Finn over a little. "What are you doing?"

"Joining you," Poe says. BB-8 whistles from the floor and rolls out of the room, clearly not interested in whatever he thinks might happen next.

"There's not a lot of room," Finn protests.

"Don't care." He wiggles onto his right side to face Finn. "I'm tired and my arm hurts."

"Really?" Finn asks. "I thought you got the good drugs?"

Poe shrugs one shoulder. "Wearing off, so if you don't mind…"

Finn places his hand on Poe's hips, pulls him closer. "I don't mind at all. As long as the bed doesn't collapse." He pauses. "Or someone walks in on us like this."

"Like what?" Poe asks. "We're not doing anything!"

"True," Finn laughs. "And don't suggest it because I don't want our first time to be in a hospital bed on Akiva!"

"Well, technically, it's not—"

"It is for you," Finn says softly, kisses him again, though it's short. "There will be a lot of firsts for you."

"And you're still okay with that?" Poe asks. Damn, there he goes again. Finn doesn't roll his eyes, or tease, but answers sincerely.

"Yes, I am more than okay with it." He pulls back slightly. "So, aside from the obvious things for us, what really does come next? For Akiva, the Resistance, all that stuff?"

Poe nods; of course Finn would want to know, Poe had done the same thing when he'd woken up. He doesn't remember working much with Finn as his co-general, since they'd taken off for Exegol mere hours later, but he knew from the moment he'd stood up to find Finn that it was the right thing, what they needed. He is looking forward to finally getting to lead together.

"I think Rey is going to stick around here for a few days, maybe longer, to help with the Sith issue. She wants to go underground, look around, talk to some of them." Finn looks skeptical, and Poe nods in understanding. "I know it sounds crazy, but it might help her to understand what we're up against better. Because if there are Sith here, they could be anywhere."

"Which means we need to keep our eyes and ears open wherever we go from now on," Finn points out. "This could be big."

"I know," Poe says. "And I've been thinking about all of this. About the Sith, and Exegol, and how they spent decades out there building a fleet in secret. I still can't believe not a single word leaked out. How did they get the materials, the people? Everything from food to parts to fuel—where did it come from and how did we not have a single hint of it?"

Finn nods. "It's insane. We think a lot of stuff came from deeper in the Unknown Regions. Rey wondered if maybe the Dark Side cloaked them a little. Plus that crazy maze into Exegol kept it hidden pretty well."

"We need to do better," Poe says. "Ignorance and complacency will only let it happen again. We can't say we defeated them and leave it at that: we need to do something to make sure another First Order doesn't rise again."

Finn is smiling at him like he knows something. "What are you thinking?" he asks instead.

"I don't know where I was in terms of galactic leadership," Poe tells him. He'd thought about this a lot while Finn was sleeping. He's _thinks_ it's a good idea, but he's not sure given what he knows and doesn't know about the state of the galaxy. He does know, however, that the Sith faction on Akiva has definitely thrown everything off and most likely changed the game. "But I'm not the Senate type. Talking, negotiating all the time—not my thing. I want to keep working actively for what we've fought for. I think we should consider transitioning the Resistance into a new type of defense force."

"Really?" Finn asks, still smiling, as if he's not at all surprised. Poe narrows his eyes suspiciously, but continues.

"Two divisions, separate from but working within the New Republic Navy. The first is a small fleet of fast ships at the borders to patrol along the Unknown Regions in particular. We take occasional jumps into unexplored space, because we need to know if there's another Exegol out there before we're staring at a thousand capital ships ready to invade."

Finn nods. "Sounds good. And the second division?"

"Undercover ops keeping watch for any enemies like the Sith still holding grudges like the ones here. We need a dedicated listening network to root out any mention of the First Order, the Final Order, the Sith—hell, even any old Imperials still hanging around longing for the old days."

That one seems to catch Finn by surprise. His eyes widen, then soften as he leans forward and kisses Poe. "You're brilliant," he murmurs against Poe's lips.

"Uh, thanks," Poe replies. "But is it feasible? I don't know what kind of state the New Republic is in now, but I think it's something we need, something we can work toward so that—"

"Poe," Finn says, stopping him. "You want to know _why_ you're so brilliant?"

"Er, why?"

"Because in two weeks we're meeting on Chandrila to talk about this very thing with the Senate. You called it the Special Defense Fleet."

Poe stares at him in surprise. "You mean, I already suggested this?"

"That's how brilliant you are," Finn answers. "You came up with the same idea twice."

"Or I'm that limited in my thinking and can't come up with anything new."

"But you did," Finn tells him. "You adapted to what happened here and suggested a second line of defense, a listening network. One in the skies, one on the ground. That way we'll know if something rises in the dark again."

"That's all I want," Poe says. "To be better prepared if anything like this happens again. To stop it before it even has a chance."

"We've had some support so far," Finn tells him. "Ransolm Casterfo has been the driving force behind the summit. We should talk to him about this second idea, see if he'll support it."

Poe nods in agreement. "I talked to him while you were sleeping. He didn't say anything about the summit and I didn't want mention my idea before talking to you, but he said there are some calling for me to resign."

Finn swears under his breath. He takes Poe's hand, his eyes intense. "They don't know what they're talking about. Don't listen to them."

"They might have a point," Poe points out. "I'm three months behind now. That's a lot to forget—and a lot to catch up on."

"Then you catch up!" he exclaims. "Poe, you are too good to lose. Look at what you did here. This is what we should be doing, what we _need_ to do. And we need _you_ to do it."

Any doubts Poe might have had melt away. Finn's faith in him is so strong Poe can feel it vibrating in the air around them. He doesn't want to leave, and if Finn is there by his side, he will fight to stay. It feels right, this idea they've had. He needs to do something to protect the next generation. His parents fought for him, and he's fought for those who come after, but he does not want them to fight as well. It has to end, and if they can stop it before it starts, the galaxy might finally be a better place.

"Okay," Poe says, short and simple. "I'll stay." He glances down at their hands. "Especially for this."

Finn looks so relieved that Poe laughs, leans closer and kisses him. They keep kissing, slow and leisurely, until Finn literally yawns in Poe's mouth, ducking his head with an embarrassed laugh.

"Sorry," he apologizes.

"I understand," Poe tells him. "The healer says we're both still recovering. I only woke up a few hours ago and I'm ready for a nap myself, to be honest."

"Sounds good to me," Finn murmurs, closing his eyes. Poe smiles, watches him. Like Finn did when Poe was in bed recovering. It's nice. So different than what Poe remembers, and yet so simple, and easy, and right.

"Hey, do we have a bigger bed back on the Ajan Kloss?" he asks quietly. "Or our own room somewhere? Private tent, maybe?"

Finn opens his eyes and frowns. "Ajan Kloss?" he asks. He sounds confused, like he was already half asleep.

"Back on the base," Poe says. "Just wondering if we'll ever have any privacy."

Finn smiles broadly. "We moved," he says. "New planet, new base, everything. Six weeks ago. We have our own set of rooms together."

"What?" How did he not know this? How did it not come up? They had a new base and no one told him? "So, uh, we live together now? Have we decorated yet or did I miss that too?"

"We haven't," Finn murmurs, eyes closing again. "Not really our thing. Too much work."

"Where?" Poe asks again. He has a funny feeling in his chest, like he knows even though he doesn't remember.

"Yavin IV," Finn says. "You're going home."

And just like that, everything falls into place. He's going home to Yavin IV, to a second chance at a life with Finn. When he'd first woken up and realized he'd lost the last three months of his life, Poe had been lost, confused, and damaged. Now he knows what his life is supposed to be, and he is complete, ready to begin the next adventure together.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End!  
> I hope I've done right by the amnesia trope. It's funny how stories don't turn out the way you initially expect them too. This one turned out much longer, for one – my longest Star Wars story yet! I had originally envisioned it as actually being more about Finn and Rey dealing with Poe's memory loss, with Poe as a sort of lynchpin holding them together as Finn and Rey struggled more than they did here.  
> I also am starting to weave some headcanons through my stories. Poe's arm is a running joke now, and his idea for border patrol has already come up once and is a major theme in a much larger story I'd like to write someday.  
> Many thanks to mssrj_335 for all their help and listening! And thank you to everyone else for reading!


End file.
